It’s all up to me

I’m  worried about today b/c I can already tell that I’m going to be out of my regular schedule.  Our older son is sick, he was up about 5 times last night with a fever.  He rarely gets sick and when he does he cries at night (he’s only 5).  So it was frustrating last night b/c I was trying to take care of him as well as keep him quiet enough that he didn’t wake up Kyle.  Plus, my hubby is still taking painkillers to sleep at night so it was all me.  His temp stayed around 102 all night, even w/Tylenol.  If it hasn’t broken by this morning I’m going to call the doc.

This may be selfish but I’m worried that I won’t get in a workout.  Not working out, combined with being exhausted, is a recipe for eating.  So my goal for today is to stick to my regular eating plan no matter what.  I can take a day off from exercising, but I’m afraid of what will happen if I do.  For right now, I might be able to sneak in a short one b/c my hubby just got up and our older son is finally sleeping.  It’s also sad b/c whenever he gets sick he’s afraid that he’ll get the disease that our younger son has.  I keep trying to explain to him that Kyle was born with his disease, but when you’re 5 and you hear people talking about your brother who is going to die b/c he’s “sick”, it must be scary to be sick yourself. 

I can do this, I will not let one day change my focus.

1:45    So far the day has gone better and worse than I was hoping.  Better, b/c I was able to get in 20 minutes of a workout.  Not enough to count it as a day toward my goal (I honestly don’t care about that) but enough to remind me that I did something good for my body.  I am also on plan for food, which hasn’t been easy.  But this is a chance for me to prove to myself that I am in control of food, not the other way around.  The reason it has been worse is that our nurse didn’t show up today.  Our regular nurse has the day off and the replacement nurse didn’t come.  I called the agency and they said they would check on her to make sure she’s ok, but in the meantime I have both boys by myself.  Thank goodness this isn’t tomorrow b/c I’m getting my tubes tied so we would have to scramble to find daycare.  Anyway, our older son is still a little sick (temp 100.2, not eating) but he’s acting normal so I’m not worried.  I’m not worrying about the amount of tv he’s watching today b/c he just wants to curl up with a blanket on the couch.  The baby did nap for a while and I did think about hopping on the treadmill but our older son asked if I would snuggle with him so of course it wasn’t even a choice.  I know that the day will come (probably in the near future) where he won’t want to snuggle with me anymore.

I’m proud of myself for sticking with my eating plan.  I am a little short on water, especially since I didn’t workout and I have had 2 coke zeros for the caffeine but all in all I’m pleased.