It’s all up to me

Forgive the Jimmy Buffet reference, it’s 3:30 am.  I was going to title this “Stupid, stupid, stupid” so something more upbeat is preferred.  Basically, after my suprise exercise opportunity and preview of my weigh-in, I proceeded to sabotage myself.  What’s even worse, I consciously sabotaged myself.  With every bite I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I did it anyway.

Here’s what happened.  We went out to lunch, as planned.  I had a grilled chicken salad, as planned.  We saw a lucious chocolate cake on the dessert menu and while my hubby and son were in the bathroom I debated ordering it for us all to share.  I truly wanted it, which is odd b/c I typically don’t like cake.  Then I figured, if I ate a few bites of cake that could take the place of the almonds that I brought for the movie.  I was ok with that decision so we ordered it and OMG, it was the most luscious cake I have honestly ever eaten. 

Then we went to the movie and my son bought Jolly Rancher Gummys.  No popcorn, woohoo!  I resisted the candy nearly the entire movie but toward the end I ate about 4 pieces.  Again, not a huge deal calorie-wise.

Fairly decent supper (left over beef roast, cottage cheese, tomato) but then the nibbling began.  A few pieces of chocolate here, sf pudding there, etc.  Once my son went to bed, I ate 2 chocolate chip granola bars with frosting.

I’m not 100% sure what’s behind it but life has been kind of stressful lately with my hubby being sick.  I think I wrote yesterday that he has Fifth’s Disease which is very painful.  He’s doing everything he can to help but he has to take painkillers to sleep at night and it’s even painful to type or tighten lids on bottles.  He hasn’t been able to get up with the baby for about 4 nights and I’m starting to resent it even though I know he’s not faking it.  Then, yesterday Kyle started acting funny and now he’s running a fever.  With his disease every other illness is more serious so of course I’m worried that something’s going on.  When it becomes a decent hour I’ll call the Dr. to see if this is something we should be worried about.

So the reason I titled this “Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes” is that I need to follow the advice I give to others.  Let it go, it happened and there’s nothing I can do about it.  I weighed myself a little bit ago and varied b/t 257.5 and 258 and since today is my “official” weigh-in day I was upset that all of my hard work last week was only going to show up as a 1-1.5 loss.  Then I realized, why can’t I use yesterday’s 3 pound loss as my weigh-in?  This will only work, though, if I forgo my usual Sunday night free meal.  No problem, I experienced that last night.  All of a sudden, I went from feeling awful about myself and lack of willpower to realizing, no problem, it was my one meal a week where I don’t worry about making healthy choices.  My week has now started over and it will be healthy choices for me.  If the baby sleeps I will get in a workout but if not I’m not going to let it throw me off track.  I have exercised for nearly 2 weeks in a row so I’m entitled to a day off if I need it.