It’s all up to me

We belong to Blockbuster online and one of the reasons I love it is b/c they have exercise DVD’s.  So when I’m getting bored of the ones I have or want to explore one before I buy it I can order one and it shows up in my mailbox.  I have just fallen in love with my latest.  It’s called Crunch:  Super Slimdown and it combines Yoga and Pilates.  The instructor is one I like (Ellen Barrett) and I was surprised that I was able to do even the advanced moves on every exercise but 1.  Actually, I did the advanced move on it but I won’t do it again b/c it caused me to rest nearly all of my weight on my bad shoulder and now I’m feeling it.  It’s nice b/c it feels less intense than most of the workouts I do but I know it still kicked my butt.  Plus, I know from when I did pilates on a regular basis before that it does amazing things for your body.

I had a revelation regarding my concerns about losing my mojo.  This morning Kyle decided to get up at 4:30 so I had a lot of time to think and as I had predicted yesterday, my euphoric writing stole my mojo and I was feeling defeated, realizing how far I have to go.  The weekend is coming up which is always a difficult time for me to stick with a program and I was ready to slack off a bit.  Then I realized, like everything else, that keeping my mojo is up to me (just like my title).  If I want to stay motivated then I need to do things that keep me motivated.  So I logged on and read a few blogs and instead of watching our local news coverage of the devastation the floods created which would make me depressed, I found fitness infomercials to keep me going.  Now I have gotten in week 1 day 5 of my walking program and did yoga/pilates.  Later today I’m going to go to the pool and either lounge or do water walking, I haven’t decided.  But in my pool bag are books about staying motivated.  I can do this, I just need to decide to do it.

I called the doctor yesterday and it’s a good thing I did, there isn’t an opening until July 22nd.  I was going to wait to see if the home remedies worked first but I guess this will give me a month to figure things out.  It honestly does feel better already b/c I have been stretching my heel whenever I’m resting and before I get out of bed in the morning and I have been making sure I’m not walking around barefoot.  I will do just about anything to hang on to my cute sandals and heels!

I remember back over the winter when I said that I felt that life was like the movie “Groundhog Day” b/c we were having major snowstorms every couple of days for months at a time.  Now, I wish that life was like Groundhog Day.  This week has been marvelous.  The weather is PERFECT which to me means sunny, almost 80 and not humid.  I have gotten in at least 90 minutes of vigorous exercise every day and my eating has been on plan.  I have had individual time to spend with both of my boys as well as my hubby and we have had good family time together.  And each day I have taken a bit of time completely for myself on top of the “me” time I get when I workout.  What’s even better, I haven’t felt guilty about it.  I know that when school starts that I’m not going to have this luxury so I had better enjoy it while I can.  I’m superstitious by nature so it’s scary for me to put my positive feelings into words b/c I’m afraid that they’ll vanish as soon as they’re recorded, but I feel like this is the time that I’m really going to change my life.  I know that there will be bumps in the road and that at times it will be harder (like next week when I’m in class from 8-5) but I’ll deal with those times when they happen.  Fortunately I have you guys with me, cheering me along the whole way!

I’m finally admitting that I have a problem with my foot.  Actually, it’s my right heel.  For about 6 months (maybe longer, I can’t remember) when I get up in the morning my right heel has been tender.  As time has gone by, the heel is more tender and now it’s happening when I’m off my feet for too long.  I googled it last night and it sounds like plantar fascitis (sp?).  I know I should go to the doctor but I’m afraid that I’ll be told to slow down on exercise and that I have to get rid of all of my cute shoes.  Chime in with me, fat girls, one of the things we love to buy are shoes b/c it’s not your fault if the shoes don’t fit, you just get a different size.  And it’s something you can shop for w/your skinny friends.  I still haven’t decided if I’m going to go to the doctor or not b/c some of the at home remedies seem to be helping.  When I can I’m stretching my foot before I get up which has really helped and I’m wearing tennis shoes now instead of going barefoot like I like to do.  And my wonderful hubby just called b/c he’s at the store buying me gel inserts for my shoes.  He’s so sweet sometimes I could just kiss him

On a different note, I’m wondering if anyone has ordered Barry’s Boot camp.  I saw the informercial again yesterday and it looked interesting.  I read some reviews on it and like anything, some reviews are good and some are bad.  I’m going to do some more investigation but I might make this my reward for reaching 250.

Also, I have to brag a little bit.  Last night I was fretting b/c I didn’t eat a frozen meal for supper so I felt like I was taking a walk on the wild side.  I know, I need to get out more.  Anyway, I knew that willpower alone would not keep me from eating the 2nd chicken breast so I packed it up and put it in the fridge before we sat down to eat.  Yay, me!  I was actually quite full after eating the chicken, cottage cheese, tomato and broccoli/cauliflower.  For some weird reason, though, I was starving later.  I tried all of the regular tricks but finally decided that I truly was hungry so I ate a lo-carb treat that I had in the freezer (these awesome dark chocolate/rasberry “ice cream” bars that are awesome and only 90 calories!!)  It got me through the rest of the night and I didn’t feel bad for eating it.

Today I tried a new workout and it KICKED MY BUTT!!  It was the weight workout that comes with the TurboJam program and I couldn’t believe how hard it was.  I workout w/weights all of the time so I figured it would be a piece of cake.  I even used a smaller weight than usual and still couldn’t get through all the reps.  After I finished that I did the AbJam DVD and then did day 3 of my walking program.  We’ll see how sore I am tomorrow but I definitely plan to incorporate this DVD into my regular routine.

I also need to buy a bike.  I haven’t ridden as an adult in forever but my oldest son can now ride his bike w/o training wheels so it would be something fun that we can do together and get some exercise.  He’s big for his age and although I don’t think he’s ever going to be a string bean we’re really trying to make sure that he eats healthy foods and is active.  That’s why I love it when he plays while I exercise so that he sees that being active is just a regular part of life. 

OK, I’ll quit writing.  I didn’t realize when I signed on today that I had so much to say!!

It’s amazing how the logical and emotional parts of our brains don’t work together.  Logically, I know that it’s going to take time to fit into smaller clothes but emotionally I think that after 2 days of great exercise and diet that I should drop sizes.  Recognizing where I’m headed I hid my scale so that if I hop on and don’t like what  I see I don’t let it derail me.  Since we have been back home I have found it fairly easy to stay on plan and I don’t want to have any excuses to veer away from my goals.

I couldn’t believe it when I looked at the calendar today and realized that we’re already in the middle of June.  For most people that wouldn’t be a big deal but for teachers it sometimes feels like the summer is slipping away already.  I’m taking a class next week and then it’s basically July which is impossible to believe.  I think the reason I feel like summer is slipping by so quickly this year is because we haven’t really had any lazy days.  Since school has been out we have been running here, there and everywhere.  I know, I know…if I wasn’t I’d be saying I was bored but I need to make things slow down a bit.  I have a “to do” list a mile long and I’m getting anxious b/c I’m not crossing things off as quickly as I would like but I need to make sure that I take time to smell the roses.  Today, for instance, I was very tired and wanted to take a nap.  Our nurse was here so I actually COULD take a nap but instead I sorted through 4 boxes of junk in our bedroom.  In all honesty, I don’t know if I could have slept knowing those boxes were waiting for me, almost as if they were staring at me, waiting for me to wake up and take care of them.  Plus, I was washing our sheets so I would have had to sleep on the mattress pad.  Clearly, I’m crazy

Tonight I’m veering from the safety of pre-packaged, frozen meals and I’m a little nervous.   But the rest of the family is having chicken breasts so I’m going to chime in.  Plus, yesterday I stumbled upon a 3-pound bag of broccoli and cauliflower that is already cleaned and cut for only $4.50 so I’ll have some yummy veggies, add a tomato and cottage cheese.  I just have to make sure I limit myself to 1 chicken breast and then go to town on the veggies.

Kyle decided to start my week early by getting up at 3:45.  I listened to him until about 4:15 and realized that he wasn’t going to go back to sleep so here we are.  Thank goodness we have a nurse come in to take care of him during the day b/c otherwise it would be a very long day.  My older son and I are going to meet a friend of his at the park to play.  We had planned to go to the pool but the forecast is saying it’s only going to be 72 so probably a bit cold for swimsuits.  No problem, we’ll go later this week.

I’m excited to get back into a regular routine.  Today I’m going to do one of my toughest FIRM workouts and I think I’m going to do week 1 of my walking routine over again.  I really only did the 1st 2 days last week due to our travels, even though I did a lot of other walking.  I was kind of distressed about this b/c this means that I won’t finish the 6 week walking program before our family reunion but then I figured “so what?”  It’s more important that I build up my fitness level than finish a silly program.  And the interval portions of the program are tough enough that I know if I go on to week 2 before I’m ready that I might throw in the towel.

It’s funny how you look so forward to getting away for a while but then you’re so happy to get back home.  We got back last night but basically put things away, had supper, got the kids ready for bed and then collapsed ourselves.

The flooding is unbelievable.  Our community is fine and fortunately we didn’t have any water in our basement.  But when we tried to get to my mom and dad’s on Friday they had closed many of the possible routes that we would take so we had to take a detour that added over 100 miles to our trip. 

I weighed in this morning and somehow dropped 4 pounds, I’m down to 263.  I know it could have been much more but I overslept Friday morning so I didn’t get in a workout and then Friday night we stopped at a seafood buffet (that also had a dessert buffet) and things have just been chaotic since then.  But I’m thrilled with 4 pounds and I can’t wait to keep on going.

For this week I am going to make sure I get in exercise every day M-F and at least 1 day on the weekend.  The weather is finally going to be more summer-like so my son and I are going to the pool tomorrow w/one of his friends and his mom.  I know we have other stuff scheduled for the rest of the week but I honestly can’t remember what we’re doing right now.  For the rest of today I’m going to cut the grass if I can ever get the baby down for a nap and finish doing mounds of laundry and unpacking.  I hate not having the house in order!

My hubby and I are still at our training and I feel that these two presenters were sent from Heaven above.  Nearly everything they are talking about can be applied directly to our son and I feel so hopeful that we’re going to be able to make some good progress with him.  They even spent some personal time after the session today talking with us about him and asked us to make a list of things he likes to do and things he can do and they would work on some plans for him themselves. 

Other good things are that I got in an hour on the treadmill this morning and did as good as I could with food.  For breakfast I had yogurt, cereal and 2 scrambled eggs and for supper I had grilled sirloin and steamed broccoli and green beans.  Lunch, however, was catered and included a baked potato, salad and soup.  Not awful but not what I would have chosen.  I did ignore the brownies they served at snack time and the bagels/muffins they served for breakfast.  Then, when  I went shopping tonight I found 2 pairs of navy dress shoes.  It may not sound like much but I have honestly been looking for navy dress shoes for the last 4 months.  To top it off the store was having a huge sale so I got 4 pairs of shoes for $70.  I love a bargain.

The reason I titled this “mixed feelings” is because of all of the flooding going on around here.  I feel oh so superficial to be giddy about navy shoes when peoples’ lives are literally washing away.  I just talked to my mom and dad who live in a suburb of Cedar Rapids, IA (the town that has been on the news for the last few days) and I’m honestly not sure if we’ll be able to get to their house tomorrow night to get our kids.  They are closing major interstates as well as smaller highways all over the state and the flooding is not even at it’s worst yet.  Our town got a bunch more rain and I’m just hopeful that we don’t have any water in our basement but I’m not going to worry too much about it b/c I know thousands of people would love to only have to worry about water in their basement.

I am officially on a mission!  We’re on our mini-vacation and the conference doesn’t start until tomorrow.  Except for a slip-up with brownies at my mom and dad’s (too yummy to resist) I’m pleased with my food choices.  We stopped at Red Lobster on the way and I had grilled shrimp and scallops, salad and broccoli.  I gave my croutons and rice to my hubby and didn’t eat a single cheddar bay biscuit.  Once we reached our hotel I went shopping at Burlington Coat Factory, my absolutely favorite store.  We don’t have one in our town so whenever we’re here I always go.  I bought about 5 or 6 super cute dresses in size 18-20.  They will be perfect for the beginning of the school year and I can’t wait to fit into them.  The cool thing is, a couple of them actually fit (meaning I can zip them up) but they aren’t pretty to look at right now.

So I don’t know how long it will last but for right now this is my motivation.  My hubby wanted McDonald’s and I wasn’t even tempted to get anything for myself.  Even if the rush wears off I’m hoping this will get me through this trip.  After I bought the clothes I went to the grocery store and picked up food for breakfast.  I have my tennis shoes ready to go to hop on the treadmill in the morning.  I just hope that everyone else in the hotel is a slug and doesn’t want to workout when I do.

I wish I could preserve this feeling forever b/c I’m at that point where I’m not worried about the scale and I’m just happy to be doing something good for my body.  As I wrote yesterday, we’re leaving for out of town today and my son had a cooking class in the morning so there was a ton to do.  Instead of skipping the workout I decided to get up at 5:00 to fit it in.  I did a 15 minutes arm routine, a 4 mile WATP DVD (this one isn’t boring, I really like it) and about 10 minutes of Pilates on the exercise ball.  I have packed my tennis shoes, several DVD’s and resistance bands so I can workout in the hotel room in case I don’t like the hotel gym (usually a treadmill tucked in a small room) or if it’s busy.  I really want this summer to be the one where I make a huge change in my appearance.  I’m motivated by visions of people being amazed when they see me at inservice in August.

One thing that I read a week or 2 ago and meant to write about on here was in a fitness article in our local paper.  Every Monday a trainer has a column about a variety of fitness/wellness related topics and this one stuck out.  He was mentioning how purpose, passion and perseverance are the keys to wellness.  In particular, what stuck in my mind was regarding passion, basically saying that it’s not being consumed or obsessive with wellness but just having a daily awareness that you want to accomplish something.  I’m going to take this article with me to our training so that I don’t freak out if I’m not able to eat 100% on plan.  I’m just going to keep in my mind that I want to accomplish creating a healthier version of me so I will make the best choices available and not worry about anything else.

The sun actually exists!  I thought it had disappeared forever behind a ginormous rain cloud.  What an absolutely gorgeous day.  After a good workout (Turbo Jam, 30 minutes of Pilates and day 2 of my walking program) and a trip to the dentist (no cavities, yippee!!) my hubby and I worked on getting our soggy mulch to the dump.  We got about half of it loaded but apparently half of our town was also taking things to the landfill b/c the line was horribly long.  We decided to wait until tomorrow morning to take the rest, hopefully others won’t be ready to go at 7:30 am.

Things are still going well and the checklist yesterday worked, but it’s day 2 and I already didn’t take the time to make one for today.  Our printer is hooked up to our computer downstairs and I wasn’t able to get down there last night.  It hasn’t thrown me off track, though, b/c what’s important for me is that I plan for the day and I did all of that in my head.  I’m still hoping to get into a better routine so that I can write it out in advance but until then I’ll just make sure I specifically determine in advance what my workouts and meals are going to be.

For those of you who workout right away in the morning, what do you eat?  Now that it’s summer I’m working out between 1 1/2 and 2 hours so I know I need to eat something or I’ll pass out.  Plus, it gets your metabolism going and who doesn’t want that?  This morning I was up so early that I should have eaten breakfast (up at 4:45, didn’t get to workout until 7:00) but I settled for a low-fat cheese stick.  This is the part I’m struggling with most.  I had hoped that when summer hit that it would be much easier to eat every three hours to keep the fuel burning but it’s actually way harder.  Maybe it’s just b/c we’ve had this yard work that HAD to get done so I wasn’t completely in control of my day.  I don’t think my hubby would have been too amused yesterday when he was covered in mud and dripping in sweat if I checked my watch and announced that it was time to eat.  The thought of what he would say actually makes me laugh

Tomorrow we’re leaving for a conference but it’s really like a mini-vacation.  My parents are taking the boys Weds-Fri eve and we’ll spend the night there Friday night and do Father’s Day stuff on Saturday.  I’m excited (especially to know that I’ll be able to sleep through the night for 2 nights in a row) but I’m kind of scared b/c I have no clue what I’m going to eat.  I have decided not to stress about it, I’ll just make the healthiest choices that are available.  It’s just that this week I re-started AGAIN and I don’t feel strong enough to resist the donuts, sandwiches, chips and other treats that always seem to be offered at trainings.  But I’m packing some fitness DVD’s and I already checked that the hotel has a gym so even though I’m not 100% in control of my food I can be in control of my activity.  OK, I should start packing now.