It’s all up to me

When it rains it pours.  When my hubby took Kyle to the doctor it was decided that he should be admitted to the hospital.  They were worried about dehydration and since Kyle hadn’t slept the night before the danger of a seizure was very real.  I got the call during 1st period yesterday and took off for the hospital.  We’re home now and the IV fluids seemed to do the trick.  He had eaten twice and kept it down so they decided we could go home.  Just as they were cutting the security band off his ankle he busted out with diarreah (sp?).  Fortunately they still let us go home.

An interesting thing happened yesterday, though.  They were wheeling us down to x-ray and it the waiting room of the x-ray lab was my scummy FIL and his wife.  Her daughter has a brain injury so she has a lot of medical complications.  It was unbelieveable.  And actually, it reminded me of that scene in the movie “Out of Sight” with Jennifer Lopez and George Clooney where Clooney and his partner are in the elevator and Lopez is sitting on the couch in the lounge of the apartment complex.  They make eye contact but sit absolutely still, not believing that they saw each other.

I debated on what to do (boy did I want to march in there and chew them out) but I decided to be a grown-up and focus on Kyle instead.  But as we were going back up to our room I asked the person pushing my wheelchair to go slowly past the waiting room.  First my FIL saw me and then his wife did.  I just stared at them, I didn’t smile or acknowledge them, then I looked away.  I was halfway thinking they might come out into the hallway and say something but apparently I gave them too much credit.  I have finally realized that they are not going to change so I am going to quit thinking about it or trying to make connections with them anymore.

So obviously food/exercise is not a huge priority right now.  I think my calories have been ok, probably a bit low.  If things straighten out around here I’ll starting worrying about this again.  Until then, let the drama continue.

So much has happened in the last 48 hours, I’ll try to keep it brief and hit the highlights.

My official Sunday weigh-in was 261.5, down 7 from last week.  Obviously being sick helped.  My goal for next week is 260.

I felt better on Sunday and even got outside and did some yardwork with my older son.  It was fun to hang out with him and enjoy the great outdoors.

Heard back indirectly from my in-laws.  My step-sister-in-law called in tears Sunday morning (she’s 11 weeks pregnant) because she just got off the phone with her mother.  Since I called the in-laws (let’s call MIL “J”), J has not called her daughter (let’s call her “K”).  They don’t have the best relationship because of the gambling/lies but they have been working on it.  So K called J and asked why she hasn’t called since I called them.  At this point J became hostile and said that it’s obvious that we don’t like them since we’ll have to “put our personal feelings aside” to work toward the goal of putting the family back together.  Well duh, it’s pretty obvious that we’re not all warm and fuzzy toward them.  If we were we would have been talking over these last few years.  It’s sad that they’re focusing on that instead of the fact that we’re wanting to work toward getting the family back together.  But at least I don’t have to wait for the phone to ring anymore and I honestly know now that I’m keeping them away from my kids for the right reasons and not just out of anger and spite.

The rest of the day went ok until last night.  Kyle woke up about 20 minutes after I put him down (not uncommon) but he was crying differently.  He ended up throwing up in a HUGE way three times and did not sleep at all overnight.  I’m actually very scared right now because he’s so pale and he won’t smile at me.  My hubby also has the same intestinal thing.  But since he’s staying home for being sick himself and we have the nurse that comes to our house I came to school.  I have missed so much over the last 2 weeks that I didn’t want to miss again if I could help it.  And I figure he’s better off with a nurse than an exhausted mommy, anyway.  So my hubby and the nurse are going to take him to the doctor to see what’s going on.  I’m just so scared because not sleeping, being sick and running a fever are all triggers for a major seizure.  I hope he calls me soon to let me know when they’re going to the doctor.

I just saw an infomercial this morning for the 10 Minute Trainer by Tony Horton.  He’s the guy who does Power 90X; my brother has this and says it is a quality product.  Anyway, this new product has 4 different workouts that are only 10 minutes long.  In theory, you only do 1 a day but I just checked out their website and of course you’re encouraged to do more for faster results.  I’m guessing there will be something in the literature that says it’s also beneficial to add cardio.  No problem, I would have done that anyway.  Has anyone else seen this, used it???  In addition to wanting it for myself I think this is something my hubby might actually do since it only requires a little bit of time.  Then, if he starts seeing results he might do more.  It’s to the point that I’m worried about his health.  He’s turning 40 this year and has a 44-46 in waist, I’m guessing he weighs around 300 and he’s about 6′1″.  When we met he had a 36-38″ waist so I know he was healthy for most of his life, he was actually a semi-pro baseball player when he was younger.  I just told him again this morning that I want to make sure he’s around for a long time and that with the reality that our younger son is going to die I don’t want our older son having to worry about his parents dying early, too.

Wow, too heavy for this early in the morning.  I’m going to do some research and maybe order it for Mother’s Day.  I wish I had seen this about a month ago, I would have skipped the personal trainer appts. and ordered this.  I have liked seeing the trainer but if I had to do it again I wouldn’t have scheduled the times.  I haven’t learned much and as of yet I haven’t gotten any workout routines.  I’m scheduled to go back on Tuesday for my final appt, hopefully she’ll have something put together for me by then.  At this point I’m not sure if my strength will be where it should be to go to the appt but I finally feel like the strep throat is on its way out. 

But the good news is (drumroll please)…I am at 259.5 this morning.  I ate a normal supper last night but that was the first thing I had eaten since breakfast.  Now that I have somewhat of an appetite and it doesn’t feel like glass shards going down my throat when I swallow I just need to concentrate on eating the right foods so I don’t put all 9 pounds back on in 2 days.  So far this morning I have had some yogurt with strawberries.  I’m not going to script out my food for today (I like to live dangerously) because if I’m not hungry after 3 hours I’m not going to force myself to eat, or if I’m hungry sooner I’m going to eat.  I’m just going to try to listen to my body so that I can replenish some of the nutrients it has been missing all week.

I think I’m back.  I might even try to walk on the treadmill a bit tomorrow, or cut the grass if it ever stops raining.  But I’m not going to be stupid and push myself, I don’t want to put myself back in bed.  Thanks for the well-wishes from everyone out there.

OK, it still completely sucks being sick but I’m down to 260!  And I did actually eat a bit of food yesterday.  I’m at the point where I have an appetite but I’m afraid to eat because of the pain it causes but my hearty appetite won out.  I’m going to try to go to school today, at least for the morning.  I co-teach with a special education teacher in my afternoon class so if I have to go home early they don’t need to hire a sub, she can take the class.

Thank goodness for mommies.  Mine has come up (from an hour away) the last 2 nights to stay up with Kyle so we can sleep.  My hubby now also has strep but hopefully he started on meds sooner than I did so it won’t be as bad.  We have put out requests for help with all of the people who have volunteered to help us when Kyle got sick just because I don’t even feel safe carrying Kyle, I’m so weak right now, and we’re trying to stay away from the boys as much as possible because we don’t want to pass this along to them.  I don’t know if the antibiotics they are on for their infections will fight strep but I don’t want to chance it.

Speaking of kids, my older son is being so sweet.  This is really the first time he has ever seen me sick and he’s 5.  He keeps coming into my room (not realizing he’s waking me up) to check on me, bring me cough drops and orange juice, cover me with blankets and bring me a bowl in case I throw up.  He even loaned me his “buddies” to sleep with because he said I needed them more than he did right now.  As much as he can be a challenge I have a very sweet little boy.

So my challenge now is to not let the pounds creep back on when I start eating normally.  I’m not going to get upset about a couple of pounds but anything more than that shouldn’t happen.  Wish me luck in making it through the day today!

I feel like I’m going to die.  I am so sick.  Tuesday I had a sore throat but I didn’t think it was anything big, I even went for my appt. with my personal trainer.  Then around supper time I felt like I was hit by a truck.  I went to the doctor yesterday and I have strep throat.  They said the test normally takes 5 minutes to show a positive response and mine showed strep after only 30 seconds.  I have never had strep before and it sucks.

I have lost weight, though!  I know it’s only temporary but I was 262 this morning.  I’m living on orange juice, yogurt and milkshakes right now.  I want to sleep but my body is so sore from laying around that I can’t right now.  Hopefully in an hour or two I can take another nap.

Just wanted to let everyone know why I have been AWOL.  Hopefully I’ll be back to myself tomorrow.