It’s all up to me

I know myself too well so if I don’t make a plan for the weekend, especially since it’s a 3 day weekend, I can only imagine the damage that I’ll do. 

So here’s the plan.  Today I will follow my general goals.  I have already eaten my breakfast of approx. 400 calories (cereal, 2 hb eggs and yogurt).  I will eat every 3 hours and I will be cutting the grass.  If possible I want to fit in a workout but that will be a bonus, not something that I will feel like I failed if I don’t accomplish.

Tomorrow I’m going to exercise when I get up and follow my food plan for the morning.  In the afternoon/evening we have a graduation party and I’m going to make my food choices based on what my body wants.  I know I will have cake, especially if it’s white cake with the good frosting.  If it’s anything else I’ll have to decide if it’s worth it.  There’s generally fruit and veggies available at these things so I’ll eat as healthy as I can.

Part of my feeling relaxed about food right now has to do with the fact that I realized I am not going to make my 250 goal by the end of the school year.  I have basically 2 more weighins until then and last Sunday I was 264.  But I was reading my sister’s blog on sparkpeople and someone commented to her (when she missed her 40th birthday goal by 3 pounds) that it’s not like the 37 pounds that she has lost are going to instantly be applied to her butt just because she didn’t meet some arbitrary goal.  I’m trying to remember that.  I definitely need goals to keep me motivated but even if I don’t meet them I need to focus on what I have accomplished.  The other day I was at the doctor and my blood pressure was 118/72.  I have never had fully blown high bp but it used to hover around the 135/85 range.  So even thought I’m still morbidly obese my health has improved.  As the summer goes on and I am exercising all of the time I know this will only improve.  I need to remember that even though it’s great to be thinner, ultimately what’s important is that I’m healthier.