Strange feeling

Posted January 28, 2008

I didn’t write yesterday because I didn’t have much to say, plus the day was totally hectic.  I don’t come today with much to report, either. I think it’s because I have been angry the last couple of days and when I get angry I don’t talk.  It all started because I wasn’t able to workout on Saturday like I had planned.  Early in the morning my older son had an appt.  My hubby and I were deciding who should take him and I said “I don’t care who goes, I just want to make sure I can workout when I get home.”  He said “ok” and he stayed home to relax since the baby was napping.  Before we left he asked if we could stop at the store on our way home so he didn’t have to do it later.  No problem.  But as the day went on and the baby was difficult I had no opportunity to workout.  Then to make matters worse, he didn’t ask me WHY I was mad.  My emotions are extremely easy to read and when I’m upset I go from talking 100 mph to not talking at all.  Not once that day did he ask.

Fast forward to yesterday and I’m still pissed which is totally unlike me.  Usually I wake up and forget what happened the day before.  I went straight to the basement to workout which I figured would improve my mood.  Nope, still pissy and he’s still not asking.  Now I realize that I am a 33 year old woman who should be able to express her feelings when she has them but since I knew that he knew I was mad and still wasn’t asking I didn’t want to make it easy on him.  Plus, he was a total grouch and when I asked him what was wrong he said “nothing”.

I feel so rotten complaining about him because he is a fantastic guy but that doesn’t negate my feelings.  Adding to this the baby got up at 2:30 and didn’t go back down so it should be a long day.  The good news is when I’m mad I usually don’t want to eat so I shouldn’t have to worry about eating to make me feel better.  If I’m still upset tonight and he doesn’t ask I’m going to be the bigger person and start the conversation.

<>Oh yeah, weight-wise I’m down 3 pounds to 275.  Maybe if I focus on that it will make me feel better.

2 Comments so far

  1. round on January 28th, 2008

    what a yucky day. I know that feeling - being mad but not expressing it. I have a tendency to do that too, but I’m trying to just say what I DO WANT instead of being mad and saying nothing, or waiting until it’s too late.

    Congrats on the 3 pound loss! That certainly is worth focusing on!

  2. julieesg on January 28th, 2008

    Three pounds down! That’s fantastic!

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