Passed the cookie test
Last night was my first holiday test and I’m proud to say I passed. We had my older son’s Christmas program at preschool and afterward there were cookies and juice in the big gathering room. I didn’t even really want the cookies (they were store-bought so they were fairly easy to pass up) but the hardest part was sitting there doing nothing while everyone else was eating cookies and drinking juice. What I finally realized is I don’t think very many people were focusing on what I was or was not doing, they were too absorbed with taking care of their own families. This has given me renewed strength to make good choices through the holidays.
Tomorrow night is Christmas at my mother-in-law’s which will probably be the hardest place. It’s not so much the food that will be there but the fact that I will be the only person on a diet. So many people have the philosophy of “don’t worry, it’s the holidays” that they try to pressure you into eating things you don’t want to eat. Deep down I think it’s that if I publicly state that I’m on a diet that people will realize that I’m fat. I realize this is rediculous because all you have to do is look at me to see that but it brings to light that I’m not happy being fat because I want to do something about it. And if I’m being completely honest I think my biggest fear is that if I publicly try to lose weight and then don’t accomplish it then everyone will know that I failed at this. I have always been the person who was able to accomplish everything she set her mind to so failure is not something I’m comfortable with. It’s amazing how much honest can come out of writing these postings.
Hopefully today won’t be too tough. We have a delay for school today due to fog so the day will be shorter. Crazy, yes, but shorter. Tonight we’re staying home so it will be easy to control what I eat for the last time in about 5 days. Happy Friday!
[...] Passed the cookie test [...]
Good for you for passing up the cookies and juice. It does help when things are store bought and less tempting, but those situations are hard, regardless.
I think you hit the nail on the head with this : “What I finally realized is I don’t think very many people were focusing on what I was or was not doing”. There is a quote that I love that goes something like this ‘you wouldn’t worry so much about what other people think if you realized how rarely they actually do’. The truth is almost everyone is really wrapped up in themselves. When is the last time you noticed at a party if an acquaintance had one cookie or 10? Probably never, and that’s how much attention they pay to you.
I agree that these blog posts can really shine the bright light of reality into our faces, when we are face to face with ourselves about what we do and why. I too like to keep my weight plans to myself. Part of it is not wanting to fully commit, part of it not wanting to fail, and part of it is that it is such an intensely personal battle that I honestly feel other people don’t need to be in the know. It’s YOU face to face with food and exercise 5 or more times a day, and there is no support system in the world that matters next to your own self.
Do the best you can for the next 5 days, enjoy the holidays, and come back here in 6 days to tell us what your plans for the future will be!
I agree with Round. My plan for the upcoming holiday gatherings is to fill my plate with lots of veggies and salad and some protein, and leave the rest alone. I suspect nobody will notice, and even if they do, the bottom line is that it’s nobody’s business but mine what I choose to eat or not eat.
Of course, I’ll have to remind myself of that the next time my sister says, “Is that all you’re going to eat?” At which point, the correct answer will be “Yes.”
Congratulations for passing on the cookies. I myself have a sweet tooth, store bought or not, and often times I eat just because others around me are eating.
I also have to agree with round, most of the time people are not paying as much attention as you think, and even if they are, it’s none of their business. Admitting you’re on a diet is not admitting you’re fat, it’s admitting that you are trying to be healthy, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of! Family and friends should be supportive, not judgemental.
Just do what you feel you need to do. I wish you the best of luck!