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So something really interesting happened the other day. It was my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend and to celebrate we had an indoor picnic complete with 7-layer dip, tostitos, wine, and cupcakes. All of these items I would normally never eat, or eat in moderation. But for some reason my brain flew out the window and I ended up eating 6 mini cupcakes, 1/2 the bag of tostitos, and at least 4 tbsp of dip. I still cannot believe it. The entire time I was thinking to myself… why am I doing this?! I was not stressed, or eating from any kind of negative emotion. Then the next day I woke up to go for a 4.5km run…. it was like the entire night never happened. Is this normal?!?! Then the next day I had cake with my lunch and supper… another bad move, but I accounted it up to just a “special treat”. To make matters worse… the following day was our house warming bbq in which I ate 2 bowls of munchies mix! What an awful weekend. The odd part is that the entire time I was extremely conscious of the point values of the food, and was allowing myself to indulge because it was a “special event”. This kind of thinking gets me into alot of trouble with food. Yesterday I was back on track and today is okay… not amazing but okay. I am at 26 points today. I just feel like I lost my mind or something. Next weekend is thanksgiving at the pseudo in-laws… I know I need to be healthy about it but it is HARD. I don’t care what people say… one piece of pumpkin pie is never enough, and mashed potatoes at thanksgiving require gravy.

So I am basically looking for advice as to whether a horrible 3-day splurge is occasionally forgivable, or if I just totally blew it.

Recent weight

Well.. when you look at my last weigh in this sounds kinda disappointing, but it’s really not because at the beginning of this week I was 151.8. Today I am at 150.6….. that’s a 1.2 lb weight loss. Going home for the holidays made it difficult, and promising not to weigh myself for 2 months was a BIG mistake. I need a weekly weigh in… the scale is like a compass to me, it lets me know when I am going in the wrong direction. That all being said, things are great. I am running 4-5 times a week, and *trying* to fit resistance training in when I have time. My points are at 22/day right now with the 35 flex points… but I usually end up having about 8-12 flex points left over by the end of the week. Anyways, I am rambling now. Hope everyone is doing well… I will try to post more often. It was hard when I wasn’t weighing myself because I couldn’t really post about progress or anything.

Most recent weight

I don’t remember the exact date that I last weighed myself… but it was likely around August 14th ish. At that time I was 149.6 lbs. Next weigh in will be mid-september.

Chinese Food

My family just ordered chinese food… at first I freaked out a bit, but now I have it planned out. As of right now I have used 16.5 points. According to my research I can have 1 cup of chow mein for 6 points, 1 cup of stir fry veggies for 3 points, and 0.5 cup of steamed rice for 2 points. That will put me at 27.5 points for the day. It is over my daily allowance, but I am not sure how else to work it in order to not feel left out of the meal. As it is I will not be eating any of the chicken balls, deep fried prawns or egg rolls… all big temptations for me. My daily goal is 23 points, I will use the 4.5 points over towards my flex points… leaving me with 0 flex points until Monday. That means I have to be on my best behavior… I can do it, just need to be strong!!

15 random things about me…

1. Growing up I was obsessed with bugs and the outdoors. My best friend/neighbor and I would spend hours outside exploring the forest, collecting bugs, and building shelters out of plants and random things we found (we lived at the edge of an island). Shocking my parents were okay with all of this (there were bears in that forest!).

2. My parents wanted me to be well rounded, so when I was in school I was involved in every activity/sport under the sun. I have tried everything from ballet to pottery classes to rugby. Unfortunately my parents also never pushed me to stick with any particular sport, so now I am not particularly good at any of them.

3. I have more jewelry than the Queen of England, and yet I only wear my gold earrings and birthstone ring, both of which were worn by my mum..variety anyone? not for me.

4. I am a morning person, and would rather wake up at 5am every morning than have to go to bed at midnight every night. I feel sick to my stomach when I sleep past 9am… feel as though I am wasting my day in bed.

5. I weigh myself everyday, and count every point that goes into my mouth. Due to a recent ‘deal’ with my bf though I am waiting until mid September to weigh myself… torture really. Also, I read the nutritional information on everything I buy. always.

6. I Love all my friends with such a ferocity that I would kill if someone hurt them.

7. I’m too nice, and was definitely bullied in elementary school, so I learned how to be a bitch and became the bully, now I sit somewhere in the middle and I find it works much better.

8. my favourite place is Ryan’s arms

9. I am a ridiculously productive person, I am addicted to ‘to-do’ lists. I write one everyday and strictly adhere to it.

10. I have a serious thirst for knowledge. In the ideal world I would be a student for life, but I do not have that kind of time nor money. The human body fascinates me, hence me being a nursing student.

11. I cannot sit still, I love being busy, I need to be busy, not because I don’t like myself but because I do not know how many more hours, days, months or years I have left on this earth, so I have to make the most of it here and now.

12. I often bake and then give it all away, partly because I am scared I will eat it all.

13. My entire life my mother has been the one person in the world I can depend on. If I even have an ounce of her spirit as I grow, I will be truly gifted.

14. I have always wanted to be an athlete–to just be really great at one sport.

15. I feel too hard and I care too much, I’ll wear myself into the ground helping other people because I believe that they will do the world some good in the days to come.

Home Sweet Home

Well I am home at my parents place for two weeks, there is so much food here! On the upside it is healthy, good food, mostly. Today I have been staying OP, I have had 17 points and 8 remaining. For dinner I will have a chicken salad with some fruit and cottage cheese on the side. I am dedicated to losing 25 lbs and being 125 lbs. My mom has done weight watchers in the past and she understands how it works and is supportive of me. BUT, my parents are always trying to tell me I look fine the way I am and shouldn’t worry about my weight. It’s very kind of them, but they will offer me sweets and say “oh, just forget about the diet for now, you look great!”. I know I am not obese, hardly overweight even…. but at this point it is a personal decision, I want to look in the mirror and smile, not just be “ok” looking.
My boyfriend Ryan was called out of province for work for a 1-2 month period. I haven’t seen him in almost 2 weeks, I miss him terribly. Since he is also trying to live healthy and lose weight we made a deal: no weighing ourselves until he is back home from work. At that point we will weigh each other. Knowing that he will see my weight at the same time I do, and not knowing how much I have lost until then will keep me on track. Often I fall into the trap of thinking ‘great, I lost 2 lbs, lets celebrate with some chocolate cake, and chips, and popcorn, etc.’ then before you know it that 2 lbs (or more) is back. It’s a bad cycle. This way I will hopefully have lost a significant amount of weight and I wont gain it back as quit. Hard to explain, but it makes sense to me.
The difficult part about being home is finding ways to exercise. Although my parents live in a nice neighborhood, the city in general has alot of crime and shady characters wondering around. I do not feel safe going for runs here, especially without my dog. There is no treadmill, or exercise equipment of any variety. My parents place is also a one-level home, so there are no stairs to climb. This basically boils down to me needing to be very creative with my workouts. On the plus side… there is a pool. This morning I swam 25 laps, but the chlorine was burning my eyes so I stopped. I bought a pair of goggles today, I will try them out tonight. I have a feeling all of my cardio will be done in the pool while I am home. There are gyms in town, but I do not want to pay the drop in fee of $10-15 every time… that adds up!
That is basically it for now… any exercise suggestions would be great! Also, what do you think of not weighing myself for 1-2 months?
Good luck to everyone else out there on the weight loss journey, it’s not easy… but worth it!

Highs and Lows

Right now is a new low… to balance of the high from last weeks weigh in. I am now 150.6, so frustrated!! In all fairness I haven’t been watching what I have been eating, or counting points regularly. I get so hungry at work that I use up most of my points before I even come home at 3pm. Then when I do come home I am still hungry and end up saying screw it and eating whatever I want and thinking that tomorrow will be a fresh start. It never is though, this is a daily cycle.

The girls I eat with at work eat ALOT and I am stuck eating salads and fruit with a little bit of chicken and if I am lucky maybe a 100 calorie pack of some form of carbohydrate. I usually get around 10 points at lunch… usually because the girls I eat with do the whole “try this, try that” thing, like everyday is a freakin potluck. Good for them, they are sharing and eating, and happy… but unfortunately I cannot partake in that when I am trying to stay within 21-25 points a day. I have many a times been tempted to eat on my own, but should a diet really mean social isolation at work?! I have healthy snacks here at home… but eventually if you eat enough 1-3 points snacks, they add up (big surprise).

Anyways, just trying to vent. I honestly want this week to be better, but I am feeling lost with it all. I am lost without a compass… help!!

Down 2.6 lbs!

I lost weight!! The best part is, I wasn’t even being perfect with the points, I am sure I went over on pretty much everyday. This morning I weighed in at 149.4, last time I weighed myself (a little over a week ago) I was about 152. YAY, I am super excited. Looks like weight watchers is working for me. The first week was definatley and adjustment phase, learning how big servings are, how many points are in which items, and how to stay low in points without starving. To make a good situation even better, I tried on a pair of jean that haven’t fit me in forever…. and they fit!! They weren’t tight at all.

Since I am at the start of a new week my flex points have renewed themselves. This week I am going to work harder to not use them all up within the first 3 days. My plan is to not limit myself in which foods I eat, just in how much of them I eat. Anyways,  I have an essay to write and a final exam to study for. Wish me luck!

Low point snacks

So I went grocery shopping a few days back… and I was extremely proud of my food choices. Ryan (bf) and I only put items in the cart that we knew we would not feel guilty about eating. It was a big milestone for the both of us… usually we end up throwing a few random “treat” items that will get eaten within a day and leave me feeling disgusted with myself. But not anymore! The “worst” item we got was fat free ice cream, but in this heat we needed something! Plus it’s only 90 cals for 0.5 cup. Just for my own personal reference I am going to write some of my favorites and the points

Thinsations cookie packs: 2
Cracker packs: 2
Thin Addictives biscuits: 2
Popsicles: 1
Fat Free Ice Cream: 2
Pretzels (85 sticks): 3
Weight watchers carrot cake & chocolate cake: 1

Ohhh… and I also purchased a TON of summer fruit! Satsumas, watermelon, plums, and apples! Sorry, but this is really exciting for me, I have yummy foods I can eat without the guilt. On a negative note… I went to the theater last night to see step brothers (really funny movie!!) and I ate 3/4 of a med bag of popcorn. I saved up points for it though. I had 8 points alloted for it, I am sure it was a little over that, but movie popcorn is very difficult to find nutritional info for. Either way… I went for a run and a body blast class at my gym, so I don’t feel guilty about it. Today is a new day… fresh start!