OMW

While I’m talking about beans, I thought I should add this list.

My top 5 “Wow” foods 

a.k.a. Foods I Turn to in Weak Moments.
a.k.a Healthy, Low Calorie Survival Foods That Are Easy to Make, Highly Satisfying, and
Good to Eat When Bad Ass Cravings Strike.

1. Fake Ramen. I love Ramen. I’m a Ramen comfort eater. It reminds me of Saturdays at home when I was a kid, and my dad would make a giant pot of it for all of us, adding corn, peas and eggs. One day not too long ago, I had an uber crappy day and wanted to go on a binge but there was no binge-worthy food in the house but I desperately needed comfort. It came to me in a moment of brilliance and desperation. I boiled some water, added vegetable buillion to make a broth, and added a package of spagetti shirataki noodles (which are like 20 calories a serving). That ramen probably tasted better than regular Ramen, and it was only 45 calories a serving. Wow.

2. Low-fat Laughing Cow. Creamyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. There is something decidedly pleasurable about the foil packages they come in, tucked into a wooden wheel-shaped container. One rectangle is 35-40 calories. Seriously, LFLC can make celery alluring. Wow.

3. 97% fat free Hebrew Nationals. Best beef hot dogs on the planet, and one hot dog is only 45 calories. I mean, come on. Forty-five calories? Wow.

4. Tomatoes with mozzarella or LFLC cheese, covered in balsamic vinegar. I survived a week on this. I never really liked tomatoes, but they are beefy and satisfying. Add in some cheese on top, fresh basil leaves if you’re herbal, and then douse it in balsamic vinegar … it’s like candy. Wow.

5. Leslie Sansone. ‘Wahhhht? You can’t eat Leslie Sansone, silly BigTXMomma!’ I know, I know. I was hard pressed to find one more top food, but you know, Leslie is everything. Maybe it’s because her workouts are simple and easy to follow and I don’t have to jerk arrhythmically around my living room trying to figure out the steps in order to get an aerobic workout. But it’s also just her. Those brown eyes that bulge out of her head each time she tells me that putting in her DVD was the best choice I could make and that I always have time for me. Sigh. Those power thighs. Her Sisters in Sweat. Sigh. She’s addicting and so wonderfully corny. I have a mad exercise crush on Leslie Sansone. Wow.

Alright, I’m going to post the recipes that got me addicted to beans.

A long, long time ago, we were living in Minnesota. It was damn cold and I wanted B&M baked beans. See, there’s this B&M factory back in Portland, right behind Tukey’s bridge, and they make baked beans, which you can find in grocery stores outside of Maine, and also these bizarre canned brown bread that I’ve never seen outside of Maine. I only eat B&M baked beans because I don’t like canned baked beans. Well, actually I love canned baked beans, but I don’t like eating food from a can unless I’m in a fallout shelter and all I have to eat is canned foods or, like, my family.

Also, DD was a wee little baby back then and I had started my freakout about processed foods.

So anyway, a friend of mine and I were swapping recipes, and she had a thing for pasta with cannellini beans (aka Great Northern). I made it but wasn’t too thrilled because it was too starchy for me. So I had all these leftover canned beans (cuz everyone starts out with canned beans), and I was like la la la, these look like tiny baked beans. So I went online and looked up baked bean recipes and made fake baked beans. They were remarkable. We were still eating meat back then, and I had a thing for turkey sausages, so I crumbled one up and cooked it in the last 15 minutes. Meat is not necessary. But it adds an interesting flavor.

These beans are so good, they bring tears to my husband’s eyes. Sadly, I am not joking. I bore his child and didn’t get nearly the same response I get when I make ghetto fake baked beans.

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I love my Heidi Swanson cookbook, Super Natural Cooking. I also love beans. We eat beans every day. Last night I soaked a bag of giant white lima beans so I could make her Giant Crusty and Creamy White Beans With Greens:

Heidi says: “I get more requests for this recipe than any other. The crisp golden crust on the beans encases a rich and creamy center, creating an irresistibly delicious combination. The greens provide a nutritionally packed accent as well as beautiful color. Plan ahead, as you need to soak the beans overnight. You can even cook them a day or two in advance; drain and store them in the refrigerator until you’re ready to use them. I’ve tried this recipe with canned beans of different varieties, but I always ended up with a mushy pot of bean mash—tasty, but not what we’re after. The freshly cooked dried beans maintain their structure much better during sautéing. Giant corona beans, cellini beans, or white cannellini are the best choice here.”

That pretty much says it all. Honestly, when all was said and done, it tasted like … dunno … maybe the texture of home fried potatoes, but a zillion times better. Plus I used wayyyyyy less oil.

Oh. So. Good.

Here’s a link to the recipe.