What happened?

TOM is here and my scale says 165 this morning. How depressing! For the first time in this almost year long journey I am actually up in weight. I should be proud that I have maintained, never really gained and have lost what is now 41 lbs. But in a year!

Life has been smacking me in the face. Emotionally and mentally I am not doing well. As a matter of fact I’m not doing well physically either.

I lost my job in the company shut down. I’ve been looking, been interviewing, been applying and I’m getting nothing! Gone are the days when I could just go find a job. The job market is not what it use to be. DH has apparently lost his day job. People don’t need trim carpenters when the housing market is caving in on it’s self. So we are left with odd jobs, tips and direct sales. People just aren’t buying and I’m sure my attitude isn’t helping.

My daughter goes to court this week. She’s been in and out of trouble for the last month. It just seems like everything is falling apart. So I’m like a yo-yo bouncing back and forth between depression, frustration, anger and self loathing. Not a good mixture for life much less weight loss.

I’m trying to keep my momentum. I have orders to deliver today. I have two parties this weekend and hopefully the work I’ve been doing in the last few months will start paying off with some regular cash flow.

Sorry it’s been so long and I just needed to vent :-(

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