My Journey- Good and Bad!

“I am just hoping these extra pounds are gonna sprout wings and fly off this lazy body”

 Girl.. you and me too!!!!!

A before and after and a few other pics.

Pics under cut

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The one that inspired me to get this weight loss journey going. We talked for a while and she was telling me it had been a bad month for her. I was like, hon your so not alone. She had only lost 1 lb this month. So I felt grateful that Ive lost what I have.  She looks fantastic though. She has lost close to 80 lbs now.  You can really tell it too. Im so proud of her!  I told her we could go to the track and walk together anytime she wanted.  She said you could really tell that Ive lost too, but for some reason I just cant see it that much. But then I turn the corner and I see this girl Jolene that I  know. She was like WOW you look GREAT! Then proceded to ask how much I have lost (why do we do this? whats it matter as long as we are healthy?) Anyway.. I told her and she couldnt believe it. She said she had no idea how much I had lost but she could tell it was ALOT! *blush*

today to eat right, exercise, or anything.  UGH! AF must be around the corner.

The last 2 days Ive been UP on the scale. UGH! I know my official weigh in isnt until Monday, but I had hoped to lose 2.5 lbs this week. If Im lucky I’ll land dead even. I know a few reasons, slacked off on water, not as much fruit, more carbs, and not as much exercise. BUT Ive still been doing MUCH better than I normally would. Still though.. Ive got to get BACK ON TRACK, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.  I wanted to lose 10 lbs from August 6, to Sept 9. Im down 4 lbs. Ill have to lose 6 lbs by the 9th to meet my goal and at this rate, it isnt gonna happen. Im gonna have to make better food choices, more exercise, and more water. WISH ME LUCK!!  I will not let this get me down. I just won’t. Ive come too far to freak out over a small gain. Ive I come out dead even I guess Ill be happy, as long as I dont gain.

I never want to be in jeans larger that an 18 ever again.

I want to be able to roll over and not worry about how wide I am.

I dont want to be seen as the fat one.

I want my Dh to think Im sexy (even though he says he does already).

I want to feel good about myself.

I want to be able to shop in a clothing isle that isnt plus size.

I do NOT want back fat!

I want to love my body.

I want to be healthy.

I AM gonna do it this time.

I dont want my 5 year old to think I am fat.

I want my children to be healthy.

I want to live a fun life.

I dont want to avoid pools.

I WILL wear a bathing suit again.

I WILL be proud of how I look in it again.

I WILL NOT gain this weight back.

I want to live an active life style.

I want to run again!

I want to turn heads.

I want to be in control of what I eat.

I am not going to let food control me.

I will eat to live. Not live to eat!

— Adding more as they come to me.

I dont want my thighs to rub together.

I want a flatter stomach.

I want to be the ‘HOT’ one in the room.

The nurse from the HD called yesterday to tell me that I didnt have to come in for a follow up appt about my cholesterol that there are only 2 results.. normal and abnormal. Mine was abnormal because it was a little low at 118.

Down 3.3 lbs this week.

Breakfast- Banana

Snack- Cantaloupe

Lunch- Lean Pocket, 5 snack size fig bars.

Snack- Banana

Dinner- Spaghetti and 1 slice double fiber bread.

2 1/2 miles on bike.

We have had a super busy day. School started back today so we had to take Bai to school. Then Dalton had to go to the Dr. He had to have shots and had to do his 15 and 24 month shots all at once because they never sent us his letter and he was behind. We got home ate a bite and then we had to go pick up our mattress and boxsprings. We brought them home and had to move old ones out and new ones in.

 I went by Moms this morning and she was like.. WOW I can really tell you have lost weight. Definately made me feel better about myself.

Mowed the grass in/around the yard, weeded flowers, moved sticks out of ditches.. sweated TONS!

 As if my day wasnt busy enough Dad calls and wants me to come down and eat. Im like .. Lord.. but when I get down there he had worked up corn out of the garden and boiled it. I had a large ear of it  and some tomatoes sliced up with mustard on them.  That wasnt so bad.

THEN Michael decides that he HAS to go to the next town over to his Moms house for a little while and then to pick up his meds. So we do that and I end up eating a few bites of Daltons rice crispy treat and a few bites of Michaels frosted flakes. 

We go to the store and pick up some milk/juice for the boys and come home. We have had such a long day and I was so tired. We all showered and went straight to bed. I hadnt much more than dozed off and Dalton wakes me up. His legs are killing him from the shots and he will not go to sleep. After laying there for an hour I finally got up with him. So here I sit drinking a Diet Dr Pepper and eating some reduced fat wheat crackers.  I feel AWFUL! I can believe I let myself go off track after my day went so well!!!

Laying in bed last night I kept rubbing my leg. I could feel muscle without even flexing it. I told Michael to feel. Im sure he thought I was nuts, but he was very proud of me. 

Breakfast- (probably more like brunch)  lean pocket (3 cheese pizza) 7g of fat, 290 calories.

Lunch- Whole Wheat tortilla, 1/2 can refried beans, salsa, a little 2% cheese, and 4 slickes of thin deli chicken.

Snack- cucumber and lite ranch dressing.

Dinner- The other 1/2 can refried beans, a pinch of 2% milk cheddar cheese shreds, and salsa. 2 slices of cantaloupe and 2 pretzel rods.

Snack- 60 calorie fudge pop.

I managed to do 5 1/2 miles on the bike today. I feel good. Im glad I made myself go in there and do it. I surely didnt think I was gonna make it. But each 1/2 a mile I got done I just kept telling myself I could do another 1/2 a mile. I really wanted to get  6 miles in but it was getting too painful and my legs were getting really shakey. Im doing good with the resistance on the bike too. At first I would do it at the easiest setting. Now I start out near the hardest setting and do a couple miles, crank it down a smidge, do another mile etc and even after 5 1/2 miles today I wasnt on the easiest setting. If you can go by the calorie scale on the bike then I lost 202 calories. But I dont see how it could really be accurate cause everyones body is different. I did a few weights too.

Ive done really well with my water today too. I feel like Ive spent most of the day in the bathroom tough. Ive never peed so much in my life. lol.

I got a letter in the mail today saying the results were abnormal and I need to come in. Now Im majorly stressed.