My Journey- Good and Bad!

I got my gum (seems to help keep my mouth from drying out), water, and cell phone and hopped on the treadmill. I did my 5 minute walk, had to run to the bathroom and pee AGAIN!! Then I got started. 4 mph.. 20 minutes.. I ran it! I made it! I sure felt like I was gonna die, but I did it!!!!!

I made it to 8 min.. like I did yesterday.. thought.. I made it this far yesterday.. lets try for 10. I made it to 10 and said well I made it 10, surely I can make it 5 more minutes. 15 will be good. So I made it to 15 and I said come on Jo every step from here is a victory.. and I did it!!!

The fundraiser went well. My pics turned out nice, but only had 6 people show up. UGH! Alot more bought tickets, but just didnt come. Ive spent the last couple days engulfed in Photoshop and house work. Who knew one day with me away from the house and  my men would turn it upside down. lol.

I started back tracking my calories on the daily plate again. My name on there is alanajo if anyone wants to add me as a friend.  The only day I didnt keep up with on there 100% was Wed the day of the fundraiser. I kept up with it in my head though. So far, so good.

Yesterday I did Week 5 Workout 2.

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

• Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)
• Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
• Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)

I sure didnt think I could run 8 minutes straight, but I did! BOTH TIMES!

Today Im suppose to do workout 3.

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then jog two miles (or 20 minutes) with no walking.

Im gonna give it a go. I doubt Ill be able to run for 20 minutes but Ill push it as far as I can stand.

I was 242.4 this am.

 Ohh…. I took some pics of this little girl Lauren for a ‘natural’ pageant. It was today. Her Mom just called and let me know she won OVERALL MOST PHOTOGENIC in ALL AGE GROUPS!!! Not just her age group. Best pics in the WHOLE pageant!!! WOO HOO!!!!

A girl finally won!!! YAY!!!!!!

 Today has been pretty good. I came in under my calorie goal. So thats always good. Not too much under, but I didnt go over.

I did workout 1 of week 5 again today since I didnt finish week 5 up last week.

Im so nervous about tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Comes on tonight. Im excited to see how much everyone has lost. I plan to do Week 5 workout 1 while its on.

Tomorrow is the fundraiser. Im doing pics to raise money for my nephews class trip. Im a nervous wreck but I HAVE to keep my nerves down so that I can keep my eating in control.

So far today Ive had

Breakfast:

Quaker Breakfast Cookie. Oatmeal Chocolate Chip.. yeah I know.. I suck.. it was 180 calories!!!  I had a diet dr pepper too.

I did do workout 1 of week 5. But didnt make it any further than that last week. Ive been eating pretty badly. Life has been soooo stressful. My photography business is picking up and the stress is taking over me.

I was 243.8 this am.

April 2- C25K Week 4 Day 2.

April 3- Walked/Ran 1 mile.

April 4- C25K Week 4 Day 3.

April 5- No structured exercise.

Today (April 6)– I think Ill do this weeks C25K again.

AF is here in full force. I dont know if its that Im bloated or if I really ate that much yesterday but the scales are way up and Im hating myself for it. Im an emotional wreck because of AF. The fact that my life is not going smoothly isnt helping.

I saw Doris at FC she is down 2 more lbs.. 88! Im happy for her but hating myself because I could be there too but I cant control my food. Its killing me. Looks like Im gonna have to start writing everyday and reporting my food too. I need to start back with the daily plate as well.

I set the treadmill to 3 mph.

I set the incline to 0 and did 1/10 a mile.

incline 2- 1/10

incline 3- 1/10

incline 4- 1/10

incline 5- 1/10

incline 6- 1/10

incline 7- 1/10

incline 8- 1/10

incline 9- 1/10

incline 10- 1/10

incline 9- 1/10

incline 8- 1/10

incline 7- 1/10

incline 6- 1/10

incline 5- 1/10

incline 4- 1/10

incline 3- 1/10

incline 2- 1/10

and finally incline 0 I did 2/10

That made an even 2 miles in 44 minutes.

C25K Week 4 Workout 1

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

• Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
• Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
• Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
• Walk 1/4 mile (or 2-1/2 minutes)
• Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
• Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
• Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)

But I felt like I was gonna die.

I think it was at 1.745 mile when I finished. I went ahead and walked the rest to get an even 2.

I did my week 3 workout 3 of c25k last night.

Ive had and up down week as far as weight. High was 244. Low was 240. Today was 242.8

My eating still is not good. I just cant seem to get it together!!!!!!!

WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?

1. Going to Moms… too much fried crap. PERIOD.

2. Michael buying the boys junk that they leave laying around and I stick in my mouth!!!

I know I can do this. I know I can. I just have to get my mojo back.

My sister missy and her hubby really hurt my feelings sunday. We were watching a home video from like 95. I was a freshman in highschool. I remember what I weighed then. Right around 200. Well Missy kept talking about how thin I use to be and she couldnt believe that was me and wow I was thin. I just blew it off because I know I was thinner then. I just joked and said.. yeah.. I know.. big ego booster u are. Then I comment and say well I was just 40 lbs thinner then. She was like.. 40 lbs, yeah right! I told her I KNEW what I weighed then and honestly I am around 40 lbs from there. It hurt that it really looks like I was THAT much skinner then. Later we were all outside sitting on the porch and talking about how people change, how time ages you, etc. My BIL. Missy’s hubby says.. No offense Jo, but you use to be really pretty before you married Michael. Really pretty. Not that your ugly now. But you use to be pretty. I about cried. WTF. I know Im fatter than I was then. I know it. I dont need EVERYONE to point it out. I told him to pop out 2 (kids) and see how thin he is. But in reality it wasnt just the kids that caused me to gain weight.

I just feel low. 3 months have went by and here I am still around the same weight I was at the first of Jan. I keep losin/gainin/losin/gainin. Its driving me insane. I DO NOT want to gain my weight back but I have no motivation to eat right or to exercise. Ive been MAKING myself do the c25k. I dont want to be a quitter. I dont want to be fat. I dont want to me ugly. I want to be a winner, thin, and pretty.

GOD PLEASE help me to do this!!!

I spent most of the day spring cleaning in my livingroom. I did blinds/curtains/2 walls and all the pictures, etc on them. Then I did under/behind all the furniture on those walls as well.

I did my c25k week 3 workout 2 and then did another mile of fast paced walking while watching TBL.  Food wasnt too horrible.

Was 243.8 this am when I got up. So the scales were being friendly.

I spent most of the day today cleaning the rest of this livingroom from top to bottom. Ive had another migraine so Ive ate more than I should. UGH.

Michael’s sister had her gallbladder taken out today. She is doing well and is on her way home. Yay. Im thankful she is ok.

I just found out that my sister, Missy, is to have surgery on the 17th. She has a cyst that needs removed.  Its always something around here. No wonder Im fat as a cow! I can not stop stress eating!!!!

I havent worked out yet today but if my head eases off I plan on trying to at least walk a mile.