My Journey- Good and Bad!

Today is Day 1 AGAIN.  We go on vacation next Tuesday and I want to be down several lbs by then. I know I can do it, just getting up the motivation to move is gonna be hard. Ive went so long without doing a damn thing. Im lazy and FAT! I dont even want to step on the scales I know Im over 250. I swore Id never let myself see that number ever again, let alone go above it. Its absolutely insane that Ive gained this much weight. Ive been holding steady at 242-244 for 6 months. On occasion Ive dropped into the 230s. Even got to 236 a couple times. Now Im sure Im above 250. I can feel the fat that Ive put on. I know can seriously feel every lb of it. My clothes are tighter and I can just feel and see it. I was talking to Michael about it yesterday and his reaction.. “Its no ones fault but your own.” Hows that for blatant honesty! I needed to hear it though. It really is no ones fault but my own. Im the one who has put every bite I shouldnt have into my mouth. Things are going to change. I just have to set my mind to it. Ive done it before. Heck Ive lost 70 lbs before.. I can do this!! I just need to keep telling myself that if I could make myself get up and move when I was 307 lbs I can make myself move now!!! The exercise is never any fun, but I can handle it, its the food that kills me. I dont care though. I wont bend. I wont give. Ive got to do this. I dont care if I have to resort to running water over everything. Believe me. Ive done that before. No more crap is going in my mouth!!! I may eat my words, but this time Im serious!!!