OMG I am so mad at myself I could
June 22nd, 2008
F’in BUST!! I just hopped on the scales tonight. I wanted to PUKE!!! Im so so mad at myself. Heck, mad is NOT the word for it!!
I did 30 minutes on the treadmill earlier, but Im about to head back in there, 12 am or not, and walk til I cant walk anymore.
My life has been a complete mess. Seriously. Im not good with stress and Ive had NOTHING but stress for WAY too long.
A few things thats been going on in my life…
My sister Missy had a cyst on her vajayjay and had to have it surgically removed
My BIL was in the hospital with ulcers (Missy hubby)
My sister Opal was in the hospital with diverticulitis
My BIL had heart surgery (Opals hubby)
My Brother Ward had a lymph node surgically removed under his arm (cancer scare)
My Brother Wade had his gallbladder taken out
My SIL had a hysterectomy
My Great Uncle Dane passed away
I had a lump removed from my breast
My Mom had a stroke.
Bailey has been having a super hard time with it all and is super needy.
Then this week.. my Best Friend since 3rd grade passed away AND if that wasnt enough of a load for me to carry Dalton got stung by a wasp and he is SUPER allergic and we had to take him to the ER, etc. Not to mention I still am not healed up from my surgery. Im on my 3rd round of antibiotics! First it was Amox, then Bactrim, now Im on Leviquin (sp?) that costed $105 for 7 pills!!! Dr Roy says if this doesnt take care of it.. Ill have to have another surgery..
All this.. and Im an emotional eater. I get stressed. I eat!!!
I knew I had gained a few… cause my jeans were getting tighter and I can just feel it. BUT OMG.. I pray my scales are wrong!! Ill see what I weigh in the am before I post it here.. but this ol girl HAS to get back on track. NOW!!!!!!!!!
2 Responses to “OMG I am so mad at myself I could”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
June 22nd, 2008 at 9:14 am
I knew you were having a bit of a rough time of it lately, but had no real idea just how many stressors had cropped up in your life. I am especially sorry to hear of the 2 deaths; you have my condolences. Hope you heal; that’s a heavy duty antibiotic, and hope things get back to what is normal for you—-fingers crossed and good vibes sent. How’s your mom doing after her stroke?
The main thing is—you have to get better so you can continue to be there for all these people. Even with all the upsets, you are SO DANGED LUCKY to have so many close people in your life who you love and who love you in return. So what if weight loss has taken a back seat for a few weeks—you’ll get back on track (and don’t you go starving yourself now; it will affect your healing). Keep us posted; I’ll be thinking about you and sending good thoughts for your healing. Be well.
June 22nd, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Dang hon - this is way way too much for any one person to handle. I can’t imagine what it must be like - the eating seems like the easiest thing out of this…. but I know it’s frustrating u cuz like me you feel everything getting tight and you know that things have got to change.
you are under a lot of stress right now…. way way too much. be easy and gentle on yourself hon. it’ll be better soon and you can focus back on yourself.
i know its hard - trust me i know….
sending you the bestxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo