My Journey- Good and Bad!

Scales were very mean this morning. But hopefully that will look up soon!!!!

Im back on track as of this am!!

I can do this, I can do this!!!

Vacation got to me. Ive been eating badly again!!!!

Gotta start over again!!!!

Im soooo happy. I hope I keep this up!!! Just sticking to this on vacation is going to be hard. Ive been watching my calories and walking on the treadmill. It just seems to be falling off… BUT I know this will not last at this rate. It will slow down as I go. I guess my body had gotten use to me filling it full of crap again. I know, I know.. shame on me!!

A quote of a post I made yesterday from a forum I post on.

Dalton saw Dr. – the allergy Dr. He was suppose to have the testing done which takes 2-3 hours and tons of needles. Once we talked to the Dr and explained that he has never shown any signs/symptoms of being allergic to anything except bugs and wasps she decided not to do it. Just instructed us again on how and when to use the epi pen jr.

I saw Dr. – today for the zillionth time in the last 6 weeks. Got my stitches out and he said for me to come back in 4 weeks unless the redness/swelling on the opposite side gets worse. He also said I could go swimming in about 4 more days. Just in time for vacation. I didnt mention to him that we were going. I didnt want him tell me it was ok just because we were going.

Im soooo happy! I still have a zillion miles to go, but Im happy to be losing a little. We leave for vaction on Tues the 15th. Had to change it from the 14th to the 15th so my sister and her family could go too. Thats 6 days from now. If I could be down 6 lbs by then. OMG Id be soooooo happy! I wont get my hopes up. Ill take 2 more lb loss by then Im really hoping to stay on track when we go on vacation. I dont want to gain any of this back. I wont have internet access unless my sister brings her laptop. Id love to have one, but we are just too broke to get one.  I did a mile on the treadmill yesterday. Took me 20 minutes at an incline of 2 and speed of 3 miles per hour, just burned 122 calories, but heck, Ill take it!

 I hope all is well with all of you.

Do u post on them?

I made a private one for my close friends and family, but they just dont get it. UGH! So allow my work was a bust!!!

 My heart still races constantly from the antibiotics, but at least Im not confused. I have 13 more days to take the antibiotics. Then HOPEFULLY Im done with them for a while.  My incision looks good, but it did last time too, until the staples were removed. I have stitches this time. So I pray its ok after they are taken out. Im still red/swollen.

I stayed on track with my food and got to move around more. I tracked every bite on TDP. I stayed within my limit and didnt feel like I was starving. I had taken a dose of benefiber because I was constipated. It said take 2 tsp 3x a day. I just took one dose and lord help me. I was on the crapper constantly.

The scales were nicer today. Down 2 lbs from yesterday. YAY!

I had an appt at 9am. Got there about 8:45 and it was 10:30 before I ever saw the Dr. When he finally comes in, he just instructs the nurse to take off my bandage. She does so. He says it looks ok. I point out that its red and swollen still on the opposite side. He says.. did I put u on antibiotics? Like he isnt even familiar with my case. I mean come on. He has saw me a zillion times in the last month. I said yeah, Cipro. He says ok, come in Thurs to get your stitches out. Like the redness was no big deal. I pray its not. I was so aggrevated. He spent maybe 2 minutes with me after I sat all that time. Why didnt they have me come in Thurs to begin with or take out the stitches today? Its a 20 minute drive, Michael works days, so I have to get a babysitter for me to go, gas is $4.09 a gallon. UGH!!!!!!  Then to top things off, I was NOT happy with the scale!!!!

Today is Day 1 AGAIN.  We go on vacation next Tuesday and I want to be down several lbs by then. I know I can do it, just getting up the motivation to move is gonna be hard. Ive went so long without doing a damn thing. Im lazy and FAT! I dont even want to step on the scales I know Im over 250. I swore Id never let myself see that number ever again, let alone go above it. Its absolutely insane that Ive gained this much weight. Ive been holding steady at 242-244 for 6 months. On occasion Ive dropped into the 230s. Even got to 236 a couple times. Now Im sure Im above 250. I can feel the fat that Ive put on. I know can seriously feel every lb of it. My clothes are tighter and I can just feel and see it. I was talking to Michael about it yesterday and his reaction.. “Its no ones fault but your own.” Hows that for blatant honesty! I needed to hear it though. It really is no ones fault but my own. Im the one who has put every bite I shouldnt have into my mouth. Things are going to change. I just have to set my mind to it. Ive done it before. Heck Ive lost 70 lbs before.. I can do this!! I just need to keep telling myself that if I could make myself get up and move when I was 307 lbs I can make myself move now!!! The exercise is never any fun, but I can handle it, its the food that kills me. I dont care though. I wont bend. I wont give. Ive got to do this. I dont care if I have to resort to running water over everything. Believe me. Ive done that before. No more crap is going in my mouth!!! I may eat my words, but this time Im serious!!!

I got there at 11:30, dropped off my papers to the collections office, and got registered with the OR place. It was about 1 before they ever called me back. Did the whole, undress, put on the gown, get IV, talk to anestesia, etc then they realize they didnt do a preggo test. So I had to do that and wait another 20 min before we could get started.  

We had a whole ordeal over the Levaquin. They hung it, and was giving it to me, and I asked what it was. She said Levaquin. So I tell her about the side effects it has on me. But I tell her I think Ill be ok, because I really needed to have it before the surgery. So then another nurse comes over and freaks because she said she saw in my chart that I am allergic to it. They Dr had wrote it on the papers. Next another nurse comes over and has papers showing where the Dr had also wrote the orders for me to have it.  So no one knew what to do. I finally told them to just leave it, and they did. But sent me home with Cipro instead.

They didnt put me completely to sleep. Just sedated. I had no idea what was going on . I would wake up on occassion and the anestesia lady sitting behind me would say I was ok and out Id go. I never felt any pain,  but I could feel them moving around.  I wish they would have just put me under general now though. The sedation served me way worse. I was sick to my stomach and dizzy all night and the next day. With the general I was fine in a few hours.

After the surgery they bandaged me up like I had been in a war. Didnt tell me much though. The Dr didnt stop to talk to me really other than to just ask if I was ok. He went out and spoke with Michael but pretty much just told him the surgery was over, I was ok, and they would be out to get him in a few minutes. I talked to the nurses and asked about how much they had to take out and they said “Oh not a whole lot.” but  oh not a whole lot to them may be OMG a heck of a lot to me.  So I guess I will find out Monday when I go back to the Dr and get these bandages off.

 They sent me home with some strong pain meds. I took 3 but since Ive just been taking tylenol. I hate that crazy feeling from the pain meds.

Today Im feelin more normal and have to get up and do a few things.

More later.

I havent been back on the scales. Honestly, Im scared to.  Im tracking my food on the daily plate today and I hope to work out some. Ill report back about that soon.

Wed I had to stop by the Infection Drs office to find out about getting the rest of my Rx of Levaquin in samples. They didnt have any. UGH! So they lady there who keeps up with samples seemed to think he could give me something else. She went and talked to him and came back with a Rx for Cipro. She said it was in the same family.  I had it filled. But havent started on it yet.

Then yesterday was my appt with the surgeon. He said I didnt have to keep taking the Levaquin that maybe the 5 days I have taken it will be enough. I told him about the Cipro and he said I could take it if I wish, it will work, but will take alot longer than the levaquin.

He also thinks I needed to have the area debreeded (not sure if thats the right word/spelling).  So I had to go in today for pre op and Ill have surgery again on Monday at 12.

Wish me luck!