body mass index
Yet another method of causing anguish.
So today I was curious to see what 5′5 186 brought up. NOT PRETTY.
OBESE.
Now this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this vile word but hey at one point I was MORBIDLY OBESE - so I guess there’s an improvement.
I’ve also figured out that I need to lose 35 pounds in order to get to that MAGIC number 150 so that my BMI would be considered HEALTHY.
Why does this amount of weight seem so DAUNTING?
Last year I lost 40 pounds and got down to 160 for my birthday in October last year - I felt pretty goddamn GREAT at 160. But the CRASH diet (MEDIFAST) really didn’t last ;(. Now here I am approaching my 41st birthday and I’m yet again feeling anxious to drop this shit so I’ll feel confident about turning yet another year older only wouldn’t it be ideal if I could manage fluctuating only 10 pounds above my goal weight? No crash diets.
Hmmmm. Let’s see - I’ve got 3 months to get down to 160. I’ve decided to not pressure myself into the 150 - shit - honestly I can’t remember the last time I was 150 pounds!
I stopped by the store today and instead of getting roast beef for sandwiches - I got chicken and turkey. I think it’s the small changes that are going to really help me to do this without going to extremes. I also didn’t get any cookies etc that I normally indulge in on the drive back home. I also bought this organic no calorie fruit base sweetener that can be used in my tea. It was pricey 8.99 for 35 single serve envelopes so this should be interesting. I’ve got enough fruit to keep things interesting - I decided to stop buying my skinny cow ice cream cones because quite frankly - I was eating too many of them 
I tried the Starbucks Vivanno Banana Mango (250 calories, 16g protein, 6g fiber, 2g fat) today - it was alright. I thought it might be a good meal replacement every once in a while. It’s like 3.80 with tax.
Looks like I might be checking on calories again to make sure I’m within reason….
Fuck. Here we go again - this time we’re going to do it the RIGHT way or should we say the HEALTHY way.
Ok, time for that organic peach 
I hate it when those BMI thingies tell the ugly truth about me. Had always promised myself that I would not be fat and forty. And I wasn’t, compared that is, with how much fatter I was by the time I got to 50. Ridiculous, isn’t it! Fingers crossed tht those small changes will help you to make a big difference.