! trANNsformation BaBy !

I felt like I was telemarketing again (yes I did that for a whole year when I was 19). It’s a shame to spend that much time on the phone, call after call - message after message. I am swamped. I got home at 9:30 tonight.

WRONG WRONG WRONG

I was my normal self today. A bit acerbic at times with my thoughts but nothing slipped out.

I know - Kudos fucker. KUDOS.

Whatever, it was all good. I even managed to show some teeth to madame incompetent. ….if i never see her again….

dangit I’m only human.

Tomorrow will be worse and then to top it off with a cherry on top I’ve got a dental appointment in the middle of the chaos.

fat boy has his bon voyage today. see ya fat head. I boycotted his luncheon but made sure I was back in time to eat some leftovers I left chocolate chip cookies for it and promptly took off.

ok, better run to bed. up again at the crack of dawn (woke up at 5:30 today)…..

’she works hard for the money’

so hard for it honey!

Now you know you’re not in for the sweetest day when you start it with a nice bout of road rage. I’ll be real a good 70% was my fault and the other part - well don’t think you’re entitled to have ME do anything if you’re going to get REAL nasty in less than a second. HELL NO! If you get ugly about it - well dammit - dependin on my mood - I’m susceptible to regression.

No one got hurt or anything but let’s just say there was a lot of horn honking, fist waving and me blowing him a raspberry during his most ardent display of fury. Alright so I was like 8. Fuck it - I’m not in the mood for your bullshit.

fuck you sir.

now fuck off.

I hopped out of my car and knew that my blood pressure had gone up considerably. No it wasn’t worth it. No it was unnecessary - but hell it happened.

Then I get to work and hell - I checked a co-worker on her sloppy work which I had to go to court for today. It would have remained just a bristling hostility but she kept coming around asking me if I did this or did that. Finally, I had enough and called her on her shit. Then I had to go to court for this case. I wasn’t even dressed appropriately because I didn’t expect to have to go. After all, this shit was her mess. So I called the kid, caregiver, therapist and got the 411 on what’s been going on. Mind you it’s a brand new case for me. So then off to court where I argued with minor’s attorney that thought more of the HOSTILE WINDBAG that was Mom’s atty then what the 13 year old told me on the phone that she wanted today….WTF? Since when did we decide that 13 years old was not old enough to say whether you want to have visitation with your Mother? Especially when your Grandmother has been caring for you since you were 5? Whatever - I let her know how I felt about that as well in front of the WINDBAG. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on too. I told that co-worker at court to stop talking crap about me to everyone (they were coming up telling me WHILE I was at court) and to drop it now because I would have to do the work on it anyways since my supervisor didn’t make sure the shit was done before it was transferred to me. Fucking ridiculous.

Damn. A lot of fucking going on today and none of it was pleasurable.

I’m fed up. I think I’m a bit overwhelmed at work right now. Too many things that need to be done and too little time to do it in. I’m heading in early tomorrow to deal with it but there’s some kind of potluck for fat head toddler (supv) because it’s his last week. I’m NOT participating in this as I don’t feel that he deserves any kudos for not doing shit, giving all of us shit and then walking out having passed probation to ensure he remains a supervisor.

Believe me I’m not that bitter. I’m just sick of it.

Food. Well it was actually cool until I got home… but I’m not sweating it - nothing too heinous.

I ran into a good friend at Court today and she and I went for a bite afterwards. It was good to catch up with her. She’s a great gal and one of those stress free friends that even if you don’t hook up with them for 6 months - you all can talk and catch up within minutes and it’s all good.

Yawn. It’s already 8:15pm - can you believe it. I just got home about 45 minutes ago. Gotta get to bed early so that I can get there earlier tomorrow.

I guess being a shit today didn’t help my situation. I could have been nicer to the ‘can’t stop holding my horn down because you didn’t move the second you saw me asshole driver’ and the incompetent co-worker. I didn’t do so great today on my tolerance and compassion skills.

But I fucking use those everyday so fuck it if I missed a day.

but it did fuck up my day kinda.

be nice annie.
no more road rage annie.
eat better annie.
stop talking so much shit annie.

or at least do it where no one can hear

Horrible eating day again.

I’ve decided that I won’t be saying I’ll start tomorrow - I’ll just do it. Spare myself the depression of not following up on things…. but it will get done that’s for sure.

Looks like Divorcee has broken up with her rich architect older gentleman because he was unable to make any type of commitment to her so it looks like the double date is down the drain since that was his good friend. ;( oh well. we met for lunch today and she is adamant about working out and getting her body in shape so she can find a younger man. her fling was taken off food and water three days ago - the 71 year old man who collapsed and went on life support. so she had a rough week and then mr. man was inconsistent again about calling etc - so she decided to let him know how she felt and that was that….

oh well. that’s the way life goes.

you miss the lotto by one number
you miss your diet by one cheesecake

shit.

i’m just happy i have a roof over my head, a job to go to that’s worth a shit, my health, my family and friends, my car….

shit i am one grateful bitch.

I picked up some powder from LUSH today I like a sprinkle everywhere in the summer time -keeps me feelin fresh. I also bought some philip thomas roth spf 30 powder to touch up with all day since I never reapply sunscreen. I wear Anthelios XL 60 then Bare Escentuals spf 15. You can never wear enough sunscreen. So we’ll see how it works out.

I’m beat.

Work is hell this week Can’t wait till its over.

My mother is so funny she doesn’t like the DDS for many reasons - his wife’s acrimony receiving alimony (obviously he fucked up), he’s a musician (cheating guy - but mom he’s no rock star it’s bluegrass f’ gawdsakes!), he doesn’t have his money together (WTF? He’s 55 years old and his mother is helping him still?), his age (because he’s not rich and you’ll be taking care of him soon- otherwise I don’t think she would be so adamant)…. she used so many colorful colloquialisms that I actually had to write them down! My Mother is so goddamn funny sometimes - shit, now I know where I get some of my bullshit from. Her english words were very audible tonight on the phonecall, ‘Wake up GIRL! THis is 2008! Don’t be DUMB OK?!’ Then in Korean, ‘Listen to your Mother, don’t do it. There’s a better man out there for you.’

My Mother is a goddamn trip and a half. Gotta love that pain in the ass….

Alright - I’m grateful for her too!

sometimes

It was a small house. He showed me the architect plans for the remodel. He showed me the garage with the kayaks hanging from the ceiling.

The man has NO furniture. A beat up couch in the living room - otherwise he’s sleeping on a mattress on the floor. WTF? 55 and no furniture? He said it was because he wants to get furniture after the remodel which he just got a permit for… it looked like a college dorm. Mind you he’s been living in that house for 3 years now….NO picture of his daughter anywhere? He said it was on his computer. He is paying alimony for his ex wife and will be paying for the next 13 years! wow! She never worked after they got married, he ardently hoped she would want to but she never did after their daughter grew up. His mother has been very generous to him (only child) paying for his education, his daughter’s education, the downpayment on his first house he shared with his wife and they co-own this house he resides in near the water. He said that right now he’s cash poor but that he thinks things will turn around in the next two years. He just bought a warehouse in Florida that is being rented out. He just sold his other house for a tiny profit because of the downturn.

He’s a nice guy - that’s for sure.

He told me I looked 10 years younger than I am and that I had a ‘good body’. I told him he needed glasses. He bought lunch after our hike and offered me chocolate cake. He knows I have a sweet tooth. He got a few pecks outta me for offering me cake How can you resist a man who thinks that your fluff is alright and offers to make you happy?

Shit if he can’t give me money - by goodness let her have her cake!

No, I didn’t eat the cake.

I did notice that the man has a very tight, taut body and works out like a fiend. He even lifted me off the ground and I was yelling at him to put me down because he would put out his back! He laughed. He wanted me to go with him to his gig today. When I left, he hugged me and said I was a ‘good gal’.

Yeah, I bet he’s crying now somewhere at his bluegrass gig because his back is broken.

Guess he’s showing me his virility.

Now, I’ve never slept with anyone over 38….

Ok, mind out of the gutter.

My brother was so funny - he told me he would slap some sense into me. He says nix this guy and keep looking for a younger dude because I want to have kids. My brother said something about diapering both my newborn and him at some point.

Oh well.

I came home and had some ravioli. I am so tired. Bad food and inactivity is really taking a toll on me. Tomorrow I start eating properly.

No honest, tomorrow. I mean it. I just didn’t rise to the occasion this weekend. Well my fat rose to the top of my pants but somehow my psyche didn’t quite make it to the detoxifying stage.

I watched a sweet movie, Lars & the Real Girl. See it if you’ve got a minute - it had me chucklin’ and then tears runnin down my face. I’m such a sentimental bitch. I’ve got Juno - but I haven’t watched it yet.

I did however watch this documentary on line called ‘guys and dolls’ - about men who live/love sex dolls. it was a bit insane but completely real.

Yet another reminder of how nuts we really are….

Now if you’ll excuse me - I have to call my mother.