Kid in a Candy Store
Yep, I’ve been up to no good ladies. NO DAMN GOOD. I’ve posted an ad and that was last night around midnight. No picture of course - I don’t need everybody and their Mother seeing my goddamn painfully single chubby cheeks on the internet. (Face cheeks girls, keep it clean now! 
So guess what - I’ve got 34 responses. Yes, some men sent me pictures of their penis’ in various states (3). I have to say, those were deleted after rereading my ad and wondering WTF?! Hello, this was not the CASUAL SEX page ok?! Gross men - always so goddamn inappropriate. Like someone saw a picture of their face and their dick (yes, they sent both) - then said, ‘Yes, I am dying to meet you - fellow well educated, funny, kind hearted and professional with a penchant for jazz and the finer things in life?!’ WTF? Anyhoo, I’ve got 3 really hot ones. One MD and two lawyers. Let me tell you that the lawyers are HOTTIES. Damn, one looks like Taye Diggs - I shit you not! The other one, super fine as well - mixed with German. Now let’s not speculate their character by their response to a pretty bare bones (yet cleverly written - yes, I am so full of it - all the time too - don’t fool yourself ;0) ad from a 38 year old. Yes, you didn’t read that wrong - I’ve gained 2 years of youth in my personal ad ladies…. I need to capture a larger audience. Can you say these men are obviously PLAYERS? Yes, I’m fine with it - we’ll have to see if I even get to meet them….
Wow, this is quite fun. I only wish I looked like Lucy Liu or some of my closest friends who are svelte, petite and young (33) Chinese girls. Oh well. I can only be me.
But it definitely helped my eating today! 
What a shallow bitch - I know! After all was it not I that said last night that I needed to rectify my sexual situation. Hmmm, one dude I actually met a few years ago when I was a lot heavier. He met me for coffee on a rainy day - he barely got me the tea and then we smiled a lot at each other but I never heard from him again. Ha, I see he’s still single. A real cutie though. I remember it wasn’t that great of a conversation - perhaps because he wasn’t into me or perhaps because he was an idiot?!? Who knows - but quite frankly WHO CARES?!
Damn, it’s times like these that I wish I was at least another 10 pounds lighter….
For a bitch that didn’t get to bed till 3am - I am full of fire! It’s called PUSSY POWER. I’ll let you know how it goes… I wrote a few of these men back today with my picture.
Meanwhile, I have to go to ALABAMA this Saturday-Monday! Yep, the crazy co-worker can’t go (THANK GOODNESS) so I’m gonna try to do it myself since all of my good friends are not around this weekend. I can’t imagine it would be difficult - it’s a 17,15,7 & 2 year old. The 17 year old can help me manage the 7 & 2 year old. I’m getting there on Saturday and meeting the kids at the airport (Alabama social worker is transporting) on Monday for the flight. The only shit part is the goddamn layovers. I found one that’s only 1 hour and 20 minutes so I had the travel person book it for me. The kids are not a flight risk - it’s just too bad they’re coming back to live in foster care because their Grandmother is in poor health (she was 83? Why someone thought this would be feasible - I don’t know!) and having surgery again. She’s been struggling with them since she left in August of last year. A disaster. So I’m gonna look up what’s shakin in Alabama so I can drive myself around and check out the sights. I’m also gonna put the mileage on my frequent flier thingie so I can someday get a free flight out of it!
Arrgh. Art class tomorrow and I still haven’t bought the goddamn supplies - will do that tomorrow. 
I found that getting there late was not cool - parking was a real monster.
Ok, it’s already 9:27 and I need to watch an episode of Dexter before I throw myself in bed. I’ve got another long drive out to see a kid tomorrow.
Keep your fingers crossed….
Damn, why can’t I just wait until I’m skinny?
You go girl. Too hell with skinny
Good luck on the prospects!
Although I don’t know anything about this woman, I do know women (yes, in their 80’s) who could handle it, esp with the help of that older sib. In fact, my cousin’s partners’ mom has his brothers 3 girls.
We have women in the running club well into their 70’s who still knock out 10Ks and one of the exercise leaders at my gym is 82.
It’s a sad situation; have a safe trip.
Meet them in a PUBLIC place, Anngirl, and bring your danged pepper spray! I SWEAR you just LIVE to keep me worrying about you!
Report back in without delay. The suspense is likely to give me a stroke.(This is only the TIP of that iceberg called “guilt trip bestowed upon you by Jewish mother…”)
Hugs..
Z