other voices, other rooms
Can you say SHIT breakfast? I mean the company was real nice - but damn - my joint was totally closed so we hit up a chain restaurant that would take a reservation for 10 of us. The coffee was good and the OJ was wonderful. That about sums it up! 
But it was good to sit and listen to all the chatter. So work related it wasn’t even funny….
I spent the next 4 hours packing up 4 years worth of crap (7 small boxes) - I threw out all of the manuals, pamphlets, and training guides except for one binder on court reports. Otherwise I haven’t looked at any of that shit for years… It was so refreshing. My cubicle never looked better and yet - so bare. The other 5 boxes contained all of my lovely wall shit, tons of photographs, cds, tea stuff & cds! When it was over, Shopaholic showed up and whisked me away to the new office. We hauled my most immediate boxes (3) to her cubicle as the county moving system is like 3 weeks out. So that way on January 7th I have my stuff available to me. We went upstairs to look at my space again - literally tiny with 4 people crammed into it. It does not make me happy. That is for sure - but I left my boss a voicemail asking for a smaller computer desk.
Went back to the office and put the final touches on my cubicle - cleaning off the desk and computer desk. Hugged the security folks and janitorial folks that have been with me these late nights for the past 4 years. It was weird. On the drive home, I actually teared up. Here I was leaving the ‘hood for a desk job. No more knockin’ on doors, *anxiously peering up and down the streets looking for you know who*, going to the hospitals for crack babies or injured children, taking children from their impaired parents, asking invasive questions, taking on suffering, most importantly - hopefully - no more waking up at 3am replaying traumas in my head. As I drove out of the neighborhood - I felt solemn and slightly distressed.
A door closes and another one opens up.
I made this change because I wanted to change my life for the better.
It’s always hard to say goodbye- but sometimes it’s so necessary.
Very well-written and poignant post. Change is always hard and in your case leaving something so difficult but that you know makes an impact on improving lives is probably harder than usual.
2008 will be full of new growth for you - how exciting!
Good luck on your new life trip much success where ever it may take you.
The unknown is always scary, but also exciting!
Yes change is hard, good, exciting and challenging all at once. Ain’t life grand? Will be thinking of you warm and cozy somewhere in NYC when the “ball” drops.
Lyn
I know how you feel. It’s like you are breaking up with you old job. Once you get settled into your new job you will see that this “relationship” is much better for you. You won’t be living in fear, dread, and waking up with reruns of your day.
Good for you for being strong enough to take this giant step.
Hugs, Bobbie
Hard stuff.
You wrote about it so well. I could picture your cubicle, now bare, and you hugging all the people that were in your life.
I wish you all the very best for 2008.
You have so much good in your heart.
Love,
Ruby
It takes a lot of courage to take this step - and you did it. You are so going places this next year.