! trANNsformation BaBy !

Ok. Yep. Done. NOW I’m 40. I’ve only been sweating this birthday for the past year and 10 months now!

Shit.

Wasn’t bad at all!

This is livin large. Honestly.

I was the only single person at Breakfast this mornin’. I was totally fine with it. Damn girl, you can do for yourself if you don’t have someone to do for you! Woman are doin’ it for themselves!

Breakfast was really good - I got the Crustless Quiche (asparagus (my favorite),
black forest ham & white cheddar) - it was in a small ramekin baking dish
(therefore - no crust it came with a tiny baked scone (hella good) and a
tiny espresso cup full of diced fruit. Now here’s the catch - they offer you
EITHER coffee or juice.

You ain’t gettin’ both OK?! I read that on the menu and found it mildly amusing. MILDLY.

Tummy still not actin’ right so I had a few bites. Now this is the cool part -
so I tell dude downstairs that I was wondering when the new room would be done
as I’m not feelin’ so hot… he says, ‘Let’s go check - it might be open now!’
Guess what? It was almost all done! So he gave me the keys and offered to move
my things to the new room (that’s the 4 diamond thing - I think). I moved my
stuff into the new room and went out to Mendocino village. It’s overcast today,
but fortunately no rain. I walked around their little shopping area.

Ok. I was invisible today to these merchants. I am not kidding. I would walk
in and no one would say hello or anything. After about 4 shops - I wondered if
I should just start takin’ shit because I’m invisible right? Then when one
merchant greeted some OTHER (I’m forgoing race here in some feeble attempt to hope that I was being ignored because of my bright red sweatshirt… I had make up on, my hair up, hoop earrings, jeans and clogs. I DID NOT look homeless, nor was I some stray evil teenager) older folks heartily - I knew it was fucked up. I
looked at her and she totally knew where my head was at. She says, ‘Well if you
have any questions, feel free to ask.’ I just looked at her again and shook my
head while walking out. WTF? That really sent my blood pressure up. You know,
it almost discouraged me from walking into another joint. But then I thought -
fuck em.

They’re not gonna keep me out… shit. Can you imagine if I was an African American? WTH?

I’ll stop there. I will. It’s my birthday.

Lookin’ at what these rich folks are buyin’ is cool. I saw some incredible artisan
wood furniture. Amazing. In one joint, I actually opened a drawer and looked
in because it was so beautiful. Sheer pleasure, I’m telling you. Sippin hot
chocolate while gazing at the beautiful ocean, seeing creative artwork, lookin’
at rich folks…. sippin’ hot chocolate. Knowin that you get to ‘go home’ to an
awesome room….

I actually smiled to myself quite a bit today. I was happy. No, not MACCHU PICCHU happy. But at times euphoric for being able to spend the day like this - surrounded by beauty and not dwelling on people’s ignorance.

I guess everything happens for a reason. I feel completely relaxed right now.

Ain’t no sandpaper skids in this tub - maybe bath tonight? I’m watching disc 1 of 2nd season ROME *HBO (Netflix) and it’s actually pretty cool. I’m getting into it - so maybe I won’t be bubbling up…. but I got the little bottles so I can do it at home

Does the day get any better? I spoke to both of my best friends, feasted my eyes on
both human and celestial creativity, sipped HOT CHOCOLATE, and came back to awesome warm room with a
bed bigger than life itself?!!!!

Oh yeah: Stocky sent this today via e-mail: Song for you:

Hi Baby,

I was writing and this was my thoughts of you.

Laying next to you felt so safe and warm.
Warm from the beating of your heart against me.
I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms.

Thank you for letting me in your world and sharing yourself with me.
Thank you for trusting me to share your home, your joy, your pain.
Thank you for making me laugh like a kid again.

I write a song for you so you know how I feel.
I sing this song for you cause my heart is real
I don’t want to rush you, but I do want to love you.
Not just physical love, but emotional love, unconditional love,
friendship love that never ends.

Very sweet. Weird. I’ve never had anyone communicate this way. He’s a nice guy.

Anyhoo, so it was quiet out there, not many tourists. I stopped at the Mendocino hotel
and had a little bit of lunch. Clam chowder was good and the spinach salad -
yummmmm. Bought a sandwich for dinner, as Rendevous restaurant is closed
tonight! It’s Zagat rated 1 for Mendocino but they’re only open W-Sunday
Oh well -

I ate the meat and part of the bread tonight. It was good. The reception desk gave me those balloons you see and two tiny squares of chocolate. I thought that was nice of them….

So that’s it. I am pretty doggone happy laying in that giant bed (awesome - tempur-pedic is the shit) with those fluffy pillows eating my cold grapes and lookin’ forward to havin a few bites of the cheesecake slice I bought. Shit - after all it is my birthday.

I am so fortunate to have the money, car, health and mental capacity to do this today. I am grateful.

I’m lookin’ forward to breakfast tomorrow

DAMN life is so good right now.

I raise my blueberry soda to makin’ it these 40 years and to MAKIN’ it through another 40!

Thank you for your birthday wishes - it truly makes me feel special that I’ve got friends out there in this big blue marble
G’nite one and all xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxox