! trANNsformation BaBy !

Ok, I’m here.

It took 3 hours to drive up, the coast was foggy but nice. I drove past the joint and decided to go another 8 miles to get to the Safeway in town for budget eats

I had the deli dude make me a wrap on whole grain tortilla thingie w/ roast beef, pepperocini, tomatoes & spicy mustard. I bought a box of 100 calorie baked cheetos crunchies and a POM light tea - pomegranate hibiscus green tea (35 cals - but it has HFCS - oh well.) So the other food I had today: a slice of that cheesecake stocky got me - honestly that needs to be thrown out. That starbucks tall hot chocolate (2 pumps), a package of madelines (from Starbucks - I used to love those so much), black seedless grapes & two graham crackers. I could of done without the madelines (honestly, one was enough), the hot chocolate (I figured birthday?!!) and the goddamn cheesecake (WTF?). OH well.

I headed back to the joint and got there around 5:15. Nice setting, nestled in the woods.

So the front desk was not impressive - but that’s what the room is for right? The dude offered to bring in my bags (guess this must be the 4 diamond thing) and gave me a tour of my room. He spent a long time on the Italian coffee maker but neglected to tell me what time breakfast was in the morning. (That irritated me later after I looked through their room guide) He showed me the private jacuzzi (1/2 intervals - make reservation at one of the tiny reception desks). I felt a bit weird when I had to ask if I got the discounted rate for these two nights. But damn, I’m not one of these rich folks that have an endless bank account! He told me yes and gave me the price - which was alright but I forgot about that tax! Oh well. It’s still cool.

This made me realize that I forgot an important item. My swimsuit.

Then in horror, I realized I forgot something more important than that enormous stretch of ugly black lycra & nylon….

SHIT. MY TOY!
FUCK!
Can’t even get laid by MYSELF on this trip. GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!
(I’m still annoyed….)

So I proceed to notice that while there are these not so luxury robes - NO SLIPPERS in the closet?! I lit my little candles, put KEM on their CD player, stripped off those jeans and took photos of the joint.

Hmmm.

The bathroom is not impressive. The bath accessories are ok - Hermes Eau l’orange… fancy. I’ll definitely be jackin’ a few of those.

That tub is definitely not for soaking. It’s long but narrow as hell (like mine) and it has those skid things on the bottom? Ugly as hell. Not inviting. I paid how much for this room and the tub is shit? I want to soak. I guess the thought is that you jacuzzi your ass with your mate, then shower when you get back. What about those of us who like to soak to the sounds of KEM? I guess one could definitely fuck in that shower. It’s long enough - no cramped up positions…

Yeah, your girl could turn it out once upon a time ago….

Oh well.

Now she forgets to bring the only thing that turns HER out anymore….

The bed is nice - tempur-pedic (the real thing - not the generic I’ve got at home) thread count is cool on the sheets (though I’ve seen those sheets at Ross). You can pick a pillow (I didn’t do it today) but they’ll bring it to you. I think I’m ok with the 5 they have on the bed. Thanks. I’m not THAT high maintenance.

The big screen TV is nice. The fireplace is cool. They give you a complimentary bottle of Merlot (little) - will save that for Wildchild.

it’s a nice room. The ocean view is through a tiny side window that isn’t apparent unless you stand by the main window (pretty view of trees) and look right into a tiny window. This is called Ocean Pullman Suite - now I imagine many a rich folk has gotten pissed about that misnomer….

Not me though. I’m just wondering where the slippers could be - yet too ‘country’ to ask - I’ll do that tomorrow…. I put my black grapes in the fridge, smuggled in my Safeway bag tucked away in my carryall. I didn’t want to seem like the ghetto girl that I really am…. I managed to smuggle in my water too That tiny VOSS bottle they have in here costs 4.00. WTF? I asked for some hot water and they brought me a tea pot. I immediately poured my hot chocolate from Starbucks into that sink (later I read that it was an italian hand cut bowl- I went back and cleaned off the ring. Yes. I was gonna do that in the morning - but what if it STAINED?) and poured hot water into my Nissan Stainless.

Here I sit with sipping my chamomile tea in front of the roaring fire, votives lit (soy fragrance candles), KEM serenading my ears with smooth jazz in my underwear….

I caught sight of myself in the full length mirror posted on the back of the suite door - quite by accident. (It should be outlawed- it’s just plain rude) There I stood, shirt on, hair disheveled and pale white cellulite ridden large thighs screaming out obscenities….

I shook them out, watching the cellulite move from side to side. Then I lifted the shirt to look at the belly which sat round and lumpy like a sack of russet potatoes. I lifted the shirt higher to a place that was much more friendlier. My bra, which actually looks nice. That eased the pain a bit. Then as I yanked the shirt back down, I said to myself, ‘Hell hon - you lost 35 pounds and look a lot better than how you used to look - so chill out!’

With that, I hopped into the bathroom.

Nope, not perfect.
Fuck.
Not even firm.

But you know what? It’s me.
Goddamn it, I worked hard for THIS version of my lumpy, flabby, cellulite ridden, pale self.
So fuck perfection. Fuck it.

When I get back, I’ll start working on the other 20 pounds left to go…. but not on any extreme diet. I’d like to try something healthy….

What did you think I’d be mature enough to say, Anngirl -Beauty is in what you do, not what envelops your bones. No, I am not wise. I am old enough to realize that if I become obsessed with this that it will surely lead to my ruin, but vain enough to realize that a little realistic fine tuning wouldn’t make matters worse. I wish I was wise. I wish I was void of any superficial yearnings of youth and beauty….

Oh well.

So I called the travel insurance folks and she said she would e-mail me the forms to submit for reimbursement (2 days it will take to e-mail them?!). I wonder how much I’ll get back? Shit. Oh well. At least I’ll try for it…

I’m gonna work at the hospital this Sunday. I don’t want to but I’ll do it one last time. I think I’ll tender my resignation. That place sucks too.

Shit, why am I thinking about this trivial shit. I’m supposed to be having fun. Not thinking about how much money I may have lost (credit card charge - honestly I don’t have 2 grand) or working my part time job.
Hmmm.
Where is my period?

I’m in a 4 diamond resort remember?

Yes.

OK, you are temporarily a rich single chick chilling out by yourself in a nice joint because YOU CAN.

shit. Can’t believe this room goes for 245.00 during the weekend!? WTF? With that TUB?

Wow, last log on the fire.
It’s 8:30pm.

dude told me where to go to get more… but honestly…. I want to hit the hay early so I don’t feel rushed tomorrow morning. Gotta be outta this room by 11:00am. Hopefully I can check into the next room way before 3pm.

I’m gonna go to Mendocino tomorrow and browse around. Hopefully it won’t be too rainy… I need to look up cool places to eat lunch… I’m not sure I want to go out for dinner. I probably want to stay in and sit in front of the fire Bore you all with my shit.

Thank goodness I brought KEM.
What a joy to my ears.

Excited about jumpin into that big ole King size bed yeah, even if it’s without a man or my other friend

life is good.