! trANNsformation BaBy !

I spent the entire morning cleaning the entire kitchen. Why the sudden spell of domesticity? Well, I got a knock on the door last night at 11:30pm because one of my water gallon thingies was leaking on the floor and somehow it managed to drip down to the apartment below me. So I had to let this maintainence guy in to inspect my floor. That was not cool. My kitchen, while not dirty was definately in a state of disarray. My sink strainer piled high with dishes, my countertops full of condiments and my vitamins. The puddle of water on the floor barely touching the bags full of stuff that I bought last week’ but was too lazy to put away. Not a pretty sight. Needless to say, I felt humiliated. I grew up with a military father that would dump the contents of your entire room if you left a pencil on your desk. I grew to hate him for a myriad of extremely valid reasons but the 5:00am ‘pop’ inspections on the weekends were definately memorable. Who could forget sitting in an unsurmountable pile of your things with the mattress that was pulled off your bed, like a cherry on top. This would occur after the 1 hour screaming and yelling tirades which would never be complete without at least a few painful blows. Then you’d cry your way through the hours it would take to replace everything and you would still have to face that bastard for the rest of the day. Yes, some people should never have kids.

So oddly enough, last night when I had a ‘pop inspection’, I knew I wasn’t going to get hit or have my shit thrown all over the floor - but it still really messed with me. A man being able to intrude into your most private space without your consent triggers some old shit within me.

So I woke up at the crack of dawn and started cleaning. I’ve been very productive today - in fact I’ve even called to reschedule the physical therapy appointment that I had in order to get this done. Strangely enough, I feel like I don’t want to be caught in that vulnerable position again. I’m also quite pissed.

But hey, I’ll get over it. I always do - because one thing I am is resilient. But every now and then, somethin will trigger a memory…

My . is worse than ever today, lots of discomfort despite that alleve (lasts 12 hours shit). My food was decent - I actually fried up 2 cups (MF approved) of eggbeaters for my lunch today. Yuck. Takes all the joy outta eggs. But it was better than another shake so who am I to complain. I’m gonna finish out the day with 3 more things and then off to the stupid bachelor thing. I’ll improve my mood before then… but right now I will be stubborn and feed my anger for a while.

It’s now 2:41pm and somedays, the diet is the least difficult thing……