One day at a time, one pound at a time!

Dear Angie,

How did you let this happen to yourself? How does a person let themselves get to be over 300 pounds? Not to mention over 350 pounds?

Laziness. That’s how. You’ve always been on the lazy side. Never good at sports because you didn’t want to put forth the effort required. Always had a dirty bedroom because you didn’t care about cleaning it up and only did so under threat of punishment by your parents. You always look for the parking space closest to the store. Take the direct route wherever you go so you can minimize your walking time.

How many diets have you started and eventually stopped? Five? Ten? Twenty? You’ve tried pills, low cal, low fat, low carb… But none of them worked. You’d lose 10, 15, 20 pounds and then before long, it would all be back on plus some. You watched your weight creep up through the high 100’s during high school and college. Through the 200’s after college and beyond. You started to avoid the scale because you knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. Clothes stopped fitting. But you kept right on eating. Right on eating the things that got to you that point. The burgers. The fries. The mounds of pasta covered in sauce. The pizza. The ice cream.

You always told yourself it didn’t matter as long as you were healthy. But were you really healthy? You come from a family with a horrible history of diabetes. Your mom. The one you thought escaped it, she went from no real signs to being on daily insulin shots. And she weighs a hell of a lot less than you. Is that what you want? To die just like your grandmother from congestive heart failure? Or have your toes removed liked your aunt Melinda? Or maybe go ahead and get that whole foot removed at mid-calf like Brian so you can be cool with your prosthetic leg.

For the past 2, maybe 3 years you’ve had a doctor telling you that your weight is effecting your fertility. You have polycystic ovaries and are insulin resistant. But did you do anything about it? Nope. You told youself that it was okay because you at least weren’t like some fat people. You could walk to the bathroom in the office without getting winded. You could make it to and from the copy machine without needing to sit down and rest. Sure you’d get a little winded going up the stairs but hey, who doesn’t? Healthy people, that’s who. It’s one flight. You should be able to haul ass up those step and not have to pretend it didn’t effect you when you got up there by faking a couple of “yawns” while you caught your breath. You weren’t (aren’t) fooling anyone.

So here you are. Starting another diet. What’s going to make this one different from all the others? Why is starting this time so different?

Here is why… Because you’re tired. You’re tired of not being able to wear the clothes in your closet. You’re tired of looking around the room to see which chair looks the sturdiest. You’re tired of dreading to fly and praying for an empty plane so you don’t feel like “that” person that everyone hates getting stuck next to. You’re tired of looking in the mirror and seeing all the bulges, rolls and dimples. You’re tired of being told, “You have such a pretty face” because you know that what they really mean is, “You’d be so pretty if you’d lose some weight”. You’re tired of not being able to buy a cute bra, even at Lane Bryant! You’re tired of looking at an outfit in a store and not being able to find one in your size. You’re tired of looking at pictures of yourself and hating every single one.

This is YOUR time. It’s YOUR moment. You’re doing this for you. Not for your friends. Not for your family. Not for the husband that may or not be your husband soon. YOU deserve this. YOU are worth this. And YOU are the strongest person I know even though you might not realize it at times. When you put your mind to something, you don’t stop until you get it and you ARE going to get this.

Remember this when you’re feeling like shit and want to just cave and go back to your old way of living. Your old way of living is what got your here and you will never be able to be “that girl” that can eat anything they want and never a gain a pound. You are going to have to be conscience of every single bit of food that goes into your mouth and you are going to have to be accountable for it. But I know you’ll be able to do it. You don’t want to be “the fat friend” anymore. You want to be the hot one.

Does being hot at 33 make you a cougar? If so… Rahrrrrr!

Love,
Me