Angel Food (lowfat)

I have allowed things to get kind of topsy-turvy for myself lately. I’ve been suffering bad headaches now for several months. A couple weeks ago, my doctor diagnosed me hormonal migraines, prescribed some medicine, and had me undergo a CAT scan just to rule out something else. Since that visit, I suffered for several days with the absolute worst headache of my life, searing pain for about 12 hours followed by 48 hours of a constant dull throb. The meds I had been prescribed did nothing to alleviate my pain. Finally, my scan results came in this week and, the “something else” couldn’t be ruled out; so now I’m set to see a neurosurgeon.

I wish I can say that I approached this health issue with grace, holding on with a deep faith and optimism. But, I’m afraid I haven’t. I found myself withdrawing from  family and friends and stuffing myself with crap food. Normally, I don’t go near a fast food place, yet I ate several full meals from value menus this past week. I felt sluggish and unmotivated all week, even losing my running shoes for a few days. I gained a few pounds, but honestly didn’t care at all that I’d undone my good progress from the past month.

I sort of had an awakening on Thursday, though, after having lunch with a wonderful former professor of mine. Now that I’m graduated, we are moving from a professor/student relationship to a friendship; I still see her as a mentor, and I think she’s comfortable interacting in that role with me. She sympathized about my anxiety over this new health thing, but she also gave me a little kick in the pants. She helped me realize that I’ve been feeling sorry for myself and had sort of shut down.

Since Thursday, slowly but surely my faith and optimism have been restored. I absolutely want to live my life being exactly who I want to be, relinquishing the things I don’t have control over to God, to others, to the ether, whatever, and making the choices that I can make to live more happily. Today, I’m planning several healthy meals for the week using ripe fruits and vegetables of the season, a canteloupe  sorbet and a corn chowder, just to name a few. Also, I’m thinking about starting a new food blog (lack of experience be darned!).

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last blog post. As I’ve learned over the past week and a half, fear is not an effective motivator. How much better it is to live with a postive outlook, incorporating joy and good health into everyday living.